This post is a bit belated, I know.

It was a great, exciting game. But this was my favorite highlight from the Superbowl:



This is the definition of "once in a lifetime Dad/Son moment".

This morning my two year old got out of bed and came to see me, blurry eyed and still in his P.J's. "Good Morning", I said. "How did you sleep last night?"

"With my eyes closed," he said immediately.

Well, there you go. Can't argue with that. :-) But he wasn't joking. That was his honest answer and that's how he understood the question.

Children are concrete thinkers. They have difficulty with the abstract. Expressions and figures of speech are so often lost on them. Many an amusing moment when I do children's sermons on Sunday Mornings comes when a child answers a questions with a concrete or literal answer.

I wish I had started a journal of all the times my kids interpreted something I said literally. So many of those email jokes people send around with kids saying cute things to their Sunday School teachers are just kids understanding what grown-ups say literally. We laugh. But that's how they think. I always try to remind myself of that when talking to kids. But I didn't see this one coming.

I think our kids should be laughing at us. Do we realize how silly we sound?

What examples do you have of your kids answering you or understanding you literally? (Please don't paste one of those email joke things. I want to hear about your kids.:)

Or give me examples of silly things we grown ups say, if taken literally. (Like "I got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.")

My wife and I bought a new place about six months ago. We're way out in the country now. We're so far out that a local bumpkin we know told us, "Wow. You're further out in the country than we are."

If we wanted to (which we don't), we could link up with satellite TV. Other than that, though, our only option is to hook up our boob tube to the huge antenna on the side of our house. The coaxial cable, though, has been sliced and since I'm not much of a handyman, I've put off the project now for months upon months. Therefore, we've been without any network TV now for six months.

We do occasionally watch DVDs, but for the most part our TVs (we have two) go unused. It's refreshing to never hear the noise of television in our home. I don't think TV is evil (even though much of the content is evil), but I do think it makes a heck of a lot of noise. Not only that, those boxes are straight up ugly. I mean, unless it's a TV, who would want a big, black, dust-collecting rectangle in their living room? (We've got ours inside an armoire.)

With all that said, I'm going to have to figure out the coaxial thing because Lost is going to start up again in the spring. The Island doesn't accept any excuses.

Speaking of Lost, I still have yet to watch the last half of last season, so don't drop any spoilers in the comments!

Grace (6): "What does 'perish' mean? If having Jesus means you 'not perish,' it must be bad, right?"

Macy (8): "It means 'die'."

Grace: "We're all gonna die, Macy."

As if it couldn't mean that. :-)

My kids go back to school tomorrow.

It has come to my attention that the night before the first day of school seems to be one of high anxiety for most families.

It's busy and stressful. School clothes, school supplies, nervousness, bedtime, new schedule, who is the homeroom teacher?, who will pick the kids up, will they make friends and on and on.

This week, we started putting the kids to bed at their bedtime, and I turned on cartoons for them at 6:30am. (A priviledge they don't normally have.) I did this to motivate them to get up so their bodies could start getting used to the new schedule. I don't know if this was a good idea or not, I guess we'll see...


What is the night before the first day of school like at your house?

Do you have any advice, words of wisdom or creative ideas you can share?

Eldest son and eldest daughter (both college-bound in a few too-short weeks) recorded some songs today. The recording is simple and mainly first-takes, but what a great blessing! I've been wanting them to do this for a long time and I now have a CD in my hot little hands.

The song below, Grace upon Grace by Sandra McCracken, is one they sang for us at Molly's graduation party. I requested at the time that they record it, and today they did!

Thanks kids. I may post a few more of the gems off that CD in coming days.

Click here to hear Grace upon Grace.

Welcome to God's beautiful world, Evangeline. :-)

Just when this previous post makes me look like a prude or a legalist...I write the following that may make me look like the opposite. :)

I wondered "aloud" in the last post if we should utter anything at all when angry or hurt. I think to a point, some of that's OK. After all what else is many of the Psalms but expressing pain through words? If we look at Job, he cursed the day he was born, yet didn't sin. So maybe there are times when it's OK, not to use foul language, but to use exclamations to express pain. (Like "ouch" when you stub your toe.) (But I'm not really sure what to do with Jesus cursing a fig tree that didn't bear fruit. Does that mean we get to curse the chair we stubbed our toe on? I doubt it ;-)

Of course the Bible also says,

3But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. 4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. (Ephesians 5:3-4)

So it's obvious that foul language is right out. But wait, there's more...

Listen to this guy. (And hey, though he uses the "s" word to illustrate his point, this is from "Desiring God" ministries (John Piper) so it has to be good, right? :)



Perhaps Paul's use of the word "dung" in Philippians 3:8 illustrates his point? "Nothing is as wonderful as knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. I have given up everything else and count it all as dung/refuse/rubbish/garbage. All I want is Christ" (Literally the Greek word is referring to dung. Most translations avoid that reference. Only Eugene Peterson lets us know that the word is scatological. Apparently, Daniel Wallace, Greek Scholar extraordinaire, says that the Greek word Paul uses here falls somewhere between "crap" and "s**t".) That verse really gains some power to me when I realize that Paul is saying that all his prior righteousness is crap compared to Jesus!

Can coarse language ever be God-honoring? There are times when God uses strong language. (Watch this one hour sermon by Mark Driscoll at "Desiring God" 08 for not just some examples, but every example! )

I, myself, admit to using (ahem) salty language at times in a pastoral counseling situations as a way to get someone's attention about the seriousness of sin. (I do this very rarely, both for the sake of my own heart and it's effectiveness. It wouldn't work if I did this often.)

I used the point of what Dr. Tripp said about words with my kids earlier this week.(Without the "s" word) First, my 7 year old complained that the 6 year old had called him "dumb". The 6 year old claimed that he hadn't actually called his brother "dumb" just something else. I told him to watch his words, because people could think that he was calling them "dumb". I just told him not to use the word at all.

Two minutes later they were both back. The 7 year old now said that the 6 year old was saying "burrito, burrito, burrito" over and over.

I had a quick teaching moment with them. I said,

"OK, listen guys. It's not about the words. It's about the heart. Any word can be bad if you mean it that way. Even "chair" can be a bad word, if you are being mean in your heart towards your brother. That's what matters. Pay attention to your heart today, and then your words will be fine."

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29)

We can't just limit "unwholesome talk" to swear words. "Unwholesome talk" is any words that tear people down. We have to watch our mouths AND our hearts.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)

Personally, I find curse words pretty offensive. They jar me every time I hear them. (This is the main reason, that I don't watch rated "R" movies. I just can't handle 80 occurrences of the "F" word. I don't even like one.)

But here's my question for you: What about words that aren't technically bad? You know the ones I mean. The ones we "wholesome Christians" use as substitutes. Words like:

Shoot
Snap
Shucks
Gee-Whiz
Gosh
Darnit
Dangit
Butt
"fouled up"
screw
fudge
Jeez
Jimminy Christmas
"For Pete's Sake"
Crap
Sucks
Frack (from Battlestar Galactica)

And on and on. I'm sure there are more. When it comes to "cursing without cursing" people are endlessly creative.

Here's what I'm wondering. For the Christian, is this OK? Should we be using any exclamation words at all?

Why is that we feel like we have to say something when we stub our toe, or spill something, or something goes wrong? Why, when we are mad, do we have to add some kind of adjective like "stinking" or "stupid" or "darned"?

Even if we come up with a word that sounds nothing like one of the official big four-letter words, so that it's not an obvious substitute. Like "Cheerio! I just stubbed my toe!"

Is this OK? Is this Christ-honoring? Or am I making a big deal out of nothing? Is it within Christian liberty to use exclamations, and extra words out of anger, as long as it's not one of "those words"?

And what about those substitute words?

Let me give you an example, to help you hear my concern and then tell me if I'm nuts:

The word "screw" really bothers me. I wish Christians wouldn't use it. I hear strong Christians say it, and even ministers use it from the pulpit. It bothers me, I think, because I "know" it's just a substitute for the big "F" word. That's how it's used. Think about it. When the word screw is used for any other purpose other than to describe the piece of hardware that holds furniture together, it is a substitute for some of the uses of the "F" word: I "screwed" up. "Screw" you. She "screwed" him.

So when I hear that word, it still offends me, because I think I know what's behind it.

On the other hand, I know that not everyone who uses it is thinking of the "f" word or intentionally using a nicer "curse" word. For many "screwed up" has just become a part of the vernacular, like "darnit" or "gosh".

What do you all think?

This past Saturday, my eldest daughter graduated from high school (Summa Cum Laude!). It was a great weekend of celebration all around for our family.

Saturday night, following the graduation and our excellent El Gallo meal at home, Molly and Andrew put on a short, impromptu concert for the family and extended family, with Molly singing Grace Upon Grace by Sandra McCracken and Faith My Eyes by Caedmon's Call, accompanied by Andrew on guitar and harmonies. They sound so good together (I hope to get them to record Grace Upon Grace so I can post it). This was followed by an unplanned, unscripted time of blessing and encouragement as a family. Toward the end, Bethany, our younger daughter, stood up and spoke a sweet, tearful tribute to her older sister. Bethany just finished her sophomore year and is turning into a mature young woman so fast. I'm so proud of her and I had so much fun waltzing with her earlier in the night (to a High School Musical song. I'm a fan).

Someone asked me if I had any words to say. I did, of course, but the main thing I remember saying was that I've never been happier. I'm so blessed and privileged to be married to Jill and dad to Andrew, Molly, Bethany, and Blake.

Some pictures.



The Graduate. She got to wear all this extra stuff (National Honor Society cowl, Summa Cum Laude and French Honor Society ropes) - well deserved. Molly really worked hard in school.



Molly, with Andrew and Blake. Blake's not smiling for some reason . . .




. . . so he obviously needed a hug. My nephew Sawyer is also in the pic, to the left.




Better!




I love this pic of Molly and Bethany. My niece Macy is also in the picture, to the right.

I don't have any pictures of it (not that we didn't take any, I just don't have them uploaded) but the next day Molly also played piano for about fifty people for her Senior Recital. It was awesome.

Great weekend!

I don't care what the reason is or what the method is, it's still evil.

An 11 year old boy killed himself because of it.

The Springfield, Mass., football player and Boy Scout was ruthlessly teased, despite his mother's pleas to the New Leadership Charter School to address the problem.

Sirdeaner L. Walker, 43, found Carl hanging by an extension cord on the second floor of the family's home April 6, just minutes before she was going to a meeting to confront school authorities again.

"I am brokenhearted," she told ABCNews.com. "We worry about the economy and about Iraq, but we need to be worried about our schools."

Walker, who works as a director of homeless programs, said Carl -- a slight child who loved his schoolwork -- had endured endless taunts since he started sixth grade in September.

Now it seems that this particular case is getting extra notice that it wouldn't have because the boy was called "gay." Fine. That's apparently what it took in this case to get people to notice. But to borrow (probably unfairly) from the Apostle Paul, I don't much care what the motivation is behind people speaking against bullying, as long as they are doing it. If you go watch the video or read the article linked above they act like using gay slurs is a new bullying tactic. These people were obviously never bullied. Bullys have been calling people gay, and every other mean thing they could think of, for generations. (That was certainly one of many names I was called 25 years ago.) That it had no grounding in reality is irrelevant.

To me it doesn't matter as much what they were calling him. They were bullying him...to death. The little monsters.

When will parents, teachers, administrators and even the kids, learn that bullying hurts worse than hell to the person experiencing it? I mean if the person would prefer death to living with bullying, it must be pretty bad.

Wake up, people. It's not OK. It's not "a part of growing up". It's child abuse and it must be stopped.

I wonder if bullying should be a crime. An arrestable offense. I know, that's a world of headache for administrators and parents. Who would decide what constitutes bullying? It would be rough. But what else can we do?

I have a book in my office entitled “Just As Long As I’m Riding Up Front.” The title comes from a story in the book where a funeral director asks a pastor if he is willing to ride in the hearse on the way to the cemetery. The title was the pastor's response. Though the line makes me smile, I also know that funerals are hard. And they are far harder for the ones who are left behind than the one who died!

I have officiated at many funerals and I’d like to share some things I’ve learned from being a part of so many. There’s a story about an old seminary professor who was standing by himself after his wife’s funeral. Someone came up to him and said, “I’m sorry you lost your wife.” The grieving husband replied, “She’s not the one who’s lost. I know where she is. I’m the one who feels lost.” So often this exactly how we feel at the funeral of a loved one.

First of all, things go by in a blur. There are people who have to be notified. There are arrangements that have to be made. And during the few days leading up to the funeral things can be a bustle of activity. Family members fly in for the service. People drop by the house bringing food. There are decisions and family conferences and visits and phone calls and cards and… where is the time to grieve? Often times the hardest part about a funeral is the first few days after. When most people go back to “normal” and you are left alone. Knowing that, please remember those who have lost loved ones in the days, weeks and even months that follow. Don’t let your phone calls and encouraging words dry up. They still need them.

Second, when planning a service it can be hard determining how to do it. One question I get sometimes is, “Who is the funeral for? Is it for the one who died or for those who are left behind?” I believe that it’s really for those who are left behind. They are the ones who need comfort, encouragement, strength and hope. At the same time, it is important to honor the departed’s wishes in order to honor them. Honoring their wishes at their funeral is way that we can show how much we love them. But some wishes are unreasonable or just can't be honored. In that case, I just remind the family that the service is really for them, and that they should do the best they can within reason to honor final requests, but all they can do is all they have to do.

For me funerals are bittersweet. It’s hard watching families grieve as they say goodbye. But it’s also encouraging when I see families cling to each other and lean on one another during such times. Funerals can be a time when old differences and disagreements are put aside. They can be a time when people remember what is really important and reassess their priorities.

Take someone along with you to the funeral home when you make arrangements. If you are in the midst of grieving, you probably aren't thinking clearly. I appreciate funeral homes and their directors. They are good people who are there to help you...and make a living. Don't let them sell you the triple-deluxe-super casket with down pillows, air-conditioning and 500 year warranty.

Let people bring you food. You don't want to be cooking right now. I know, you might end up with 5 extra platters of chicken dishes, but better to have extra... If you are the food bringer, don't say, "call if you need anything." They won't. But do plan on bringing the food and call ahead to make sure it is a good time to bring it. Also don't put the food in anything they have to wash and return. Put it all in disposable containers. You wouldn't want to be doing dishes at a time like this and neither do they.

Don't wait and watch the casket being lowered into the ground. That's a final image you don't need to carry in your memory the rest of your life. Your kids don't need that image either. Don't linger at the cemetery too long.

It's OK to do things differently. You don't have to follow tradition. You don't have to do what you think everyone else expects. The funeral is for you and those who are left behind. Do what helps you. You don't have to do the 3 hour visitation if you don't want to. You don't have to have the casket open if you don't want it to be. You are in charge.

Some families now have a small graveside service for family only FIRST, and then have the big service at the church. That way you are ending on a note of victory.

And feel free to grieve in your own way. In every family, there is one person who never cries, and there is one person who can't stop crying. That's OK. Don't whisper to each other about it. Let them grieve in their own way. As for you, it's OK to laugh. Don't feel guilty. Tell those funny stories. They are gifts from God. It's also OK to cry. Don't feel guilty for that either. Tears are a gift from God also. It doesn't mean that you are a bad Christian, or that you are being "selfish because that person is in heaven now." It hurts because they were special to you.

Regret makes grief harder. If you are deciding whether or not to go see that loved one on final time at the hospital, figure out what you would most regret NOT doing.

Don't forget the children. This probably deserves a whole different post, but briefly: Don't lie. Speak simply and literally. Don't dwell on it. Don't project your feelings onto them. Remember the regret advice above. Don't make your kids mad at you for years because you didn't let them talk to Grandma. On the other hand, you know your kids, and it's your job to protect them from what they can't handle. It's a tough balancing act, I know, but that's your challenge.

I have two closing words of advice. First, don’t wait for your own funeral. Get the will done now. Buy life insurance now. Make your funeral arrangements ahead of time if you can. Leave final instructions somewhere. Let your loved ones know how they can honor you. But as you do that, remember the service isn’t really for you, it’s for them, but they will welcome the chance to honor you. Write a letter to be read at your funeral. I have only seen it happen a few times, but when someone leaves a letter behind, it gives more encouragement than you can imagine.

Second, don’t wait for anybody else’s funeral either. You can gather with your siblings, uncles, aunts and cousins for other reasons. Funerals don’t have to be the only times you see each other. But you have to get up and go plan something. Also you can tell people how you feel about them while their still alive. Don’t wait until the eulogy. Write a letter now. Make a phone call now. Tell that person today, so that you never have to say “I wish I had said that sooner.”

Many of you have been the widow/grieving child etc... what advice do you have? What did people do for you that was helpful? What did people do that was unhelpful? Is there anything you wish you had done differently? Is there anything that God really used to bless and comfort you during your difficult time?

Joe Thorn: My Dad, The Christian

I've tried to keep the self-promotion to a minimum, but if I've stepped on your sensibilities, I apologize. You can skip this post if you want.

A few personal notes:

My book Your Jesus is Too Safe is still on track for a July release. Don't have a street date yet, but I'll obviously shout from the rooftops when I do. The good folks at Kregel have been incredible to work with, btw. I've seen a preliminary workup of the prospective cover, and it looks awesome! I'm pretty excited, naturally.

I'm also excited because the Ed Stetzer has agreed to write the Foreword. Thanks, Ed!

We began a new series at Element two weeks ago on the book of Haggai. It's called "DWELL." It has been such a blessing to present the gospel from the Old Testament and preach Jesus from the minor prophets (as I did last year with Habakkuk). If you are ever tempted to skip over the "obscure" books, don't! And don't think you can't find the good news in them either.

Writing update:
Each week I've hoped to have a substantial amount of time to begin work on my follow-up in earnest, but each week -- and this is a blessing -- I keep receiving freelance assignments that keep me busy. It's good paying work, so I don't turn much of it down. I know to be thankful for having steady work at a time many do not.
But this week may be the first in months I've been able to sit down and focus on writing for me. But of course this won't be the first week I've thought that. ;-)

In any event, the book I will begin any day now is tentatively titled Postcards from the Revolution: The Parables as Sabotage.

On only a semi-related note, I now have a booking page on my personal website. If you're interested in having me speak to your group or at your church or event, check it out.

And on that note, I will be preaching at Middletown Springs Community Church in Middletown Springs, Vermont on March 1. If you're anywhere near that area then, hope to see you.

Thus ends the shameless self-promotion. For the time being. ;-)

Macy (7), as she, appropos of nothing, abruptly rises from the couch mid-conversation:

"I'm going to the toy room to practice my dance moves."

Our eldest has made the trek back to College for his second semester at Baylor. We miss him already and really enjoyed having him with us over the Christmas holiday. It was an eventful and fun time.

His first semester went great, and I'm so thankful for so many good things that happened both to him and inside him. He loved it and did very well, achieving a 3.7 GPA.

Godspeed Andrew. We miss you and we're praying for you!

Have fun in your Ancient Greek course :-)

Update: Also, a heartfelt thank you to Bird and Brandi and their kiddos for being a home away from home so often for Andrew while he's up there. You guys are awesome!

The Reformissionary has posted his family's 2008 Christmas picture. I think this is a hoot, and heartwarming too, considering the serious health issues the family has been dealing with this year (his wife Molly is suffering from a neurological disease called Chiari I Malformation). This is a neat picture of joy and perseverance in trials.



Their 2007 picture is also awesome.

Please pray for the McCoys this Christmas.

Today is my brother Jeremy's birthday. (Thinkling readers probably know him more as Stroke.) He is now officially in his thirties, which kinda freaks me out. He's supposed to be my "little" brother.

Bro, you grew up into an awesome dude (not that you weren't awesome before, of course), a great pastor, and a dear friend.
I'm sorry for all the times I kicked you in the nards when we were kids.

Sometimes the truth is funny.

Sometimes the truth hurts.

Sometimes it does both.



This video is all true. Trust me.

You all are welcome to try to solve this problem under comments, but I don't think it's solveable.

So we can at least laugh at ourselves right?

H/T Darrell

I think it should be it's own holiday, even though it falls on a different day for everybody. But for us...it's today!

We're getting down the Christmas lights, stockings, advent calendar, decorations and all that fun stuff. I'll be putting on the Christmas music here in a minute.... It's fun for the whole family.

And so in honor of Christmas Decoration Day.... Watch This! (Put a kid on your lap first.)