I love literal videos!



Disclaimer - I guess this will further solidify my reputation as the Edge-y Thinkling . . .

This video is somewhere between PG and PG-13, lyrics-wise. Just FYI.

From the Espys:

Yesterday I had to call Microsoft Tech support. We are trying to use our computer to send and receive faxes. We've never done that before, but we're trying to set it up that way. So I called Microsoft so they could help me set it up.

I could actually understand what he was saying and he didn't sound like he was in India, so I was hopeful. He was also very friendly.

First he has me pull up Windows "Fax and Scan feature" and read it to him. Step 1 for setup says to plug my fax line into my fax modem. I have no fax modem. I explain this to him. He asks me if I have any modem, I tell him I have a DSL modem. He says, "In all honesty, I've never actually heard of a fax modem before. This is new to me." He asks me to hold while he researches this issue...

When he comes back to me, his first words to me are...

Wait for it....

"According to Wikipedia..."

You can pick yourself up off the floor now.

So now Microsoft techs are using Wikipedia for their research. You may go ahead and let your laughter out now. No one around you will mind. I wonder if Wikipedia knows this? I can see the ad tag now, "Microsoft uses us to learn how to use their own products."

Also spoken to me by my Microsoft tech support specialist while we were talking...

"Pardon me, but my browser is going slow. It's been acting funky all day."

I wonder if I should have suggested that he try Firefox?

Finally, he discovered by doing "research" that I need to go buy another modem, one that will be analog so that it can dial phone numbers, which a digital modem will not. Though he's not sure even then that it will work. He suggested I call my ISP to make sure they would recognize it and support it. In my Microsoft guy's defense, the dude at my ISP tech support had never heard of it either. And he said, "I asked around and all the other guys around here are shrugging their shoulders."

I should also say in my Microsoft guy's defense, that he was a very nice guy and he really tried. I don't blame him. I blame the Microsoft machine (both literal and metaphorical.)

So apparently, Microsoft Windows has been listing as a feature for a decade now that your computer can send and receive faxes, but no one actually knows how. I have this theory that no one actually does it, but we all assume that someone out there is...

It's like having a red button that says "turbo boost" on your car you've never pushed. You have it, so it must be cool...but you never use it. I wonder how many other features Windows claims to have, but they aren't actually real things?

I close with my second favorite quote (following "According to Wikipedia...") spoken by my Microsoft Rep...

"Oh my God. I'm getting blocked by a firewall on my end."

:-)

Oprah is hosting a "get your own TV show" contest or something. This guy named Zach entered. If he doesn't win, it will be proof Oprah is the antichrist.

Zach's oprah deal from Zach Anner on Vimeo.

My favorite lines:
"I have cerebral palsy, which I think is the sexiest of the palsies."
"I'm not doing yoga; I'm just putting on my pants."

Talk about counting it all joy.

HT: Michael Kelley

Via Abraham Piper I learned about Tea Party Jesus [language warning] this morning.

A sample:



The site purports to put words from Christians in the mouth of Christ, but I am not sure if these are all truly words from Christians or words merely from conservative politicians and pundits.

Abraham writes:

Could what you say be reprinted in a speech bubble on Jesus art without seeming ironic?

UPDATE: Since posting this, Tea Party Jesus has added at the top of the front page of their site a new "cartoon" with heavy profanity. It's a quote from some conservative politician, sure, but this is your warning that the language is graphic. And it's placed in a dialogue bubble coming out of an image of Jesus. This image was not there when I posted. Stealing the idea from Abraham, I have changed the TPJ link to an archived page with "tamer" examples. Sorry for any offense caused.

This is funny, but as I watched it I reflected on how I wouldn't have understood this video a dozen years ago. Boy, do I get it now.

"Sunday's Coming" Movie Trailer from North Point Media on Vimeo.

[H/T The Prodigal Thinkling]

Contra vs. Duck Hunt

There is so much awesomeness here, it may blow up your monitor.

I "love" that the cover in the ad on this page (right sidebar) for a book on how to help writers get noticed by editors and avoid the slush pile has a typo.

Here's a tip, though: Never trust an anonymous editor who wants to give you advice on how to get published.

I tried (twice!) to get through the first season of "24." It never took. Couldn't stand it. 6 hours in, I just wanted that whiney chick out of the barn already.

But even though I have no desire to waste another five minutes of my life on "24," I find myself enthused and enthralled by Brant Hansen's dramatic recaps of the episodes.

The videos are not available to embed, but you can watch the latest here. It makes "24" come alive with awesomeness.

How "Lost" characters make a sandwich.
Some examples:

Jack
1. Gather ingredients
2. Point gun at ingredients and shout “HOW DO I MAKE A SANDWICH OUT OF YOU?!?!?”
3. Breathe heavily through your nose as though you were about to hit ingredients
4. Give up and make the sandwich yourself, and eat it bitterly

Kate
1. Make separate sandwiches, one with peanut butter and one with jelly
2. Take a bite of the peanut butter sandwich, declaring it the best
3. Take a bite of the jelly sandwich, declaring it the best
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 ad infinitum
5. Follow peanut butter or jelly sandwich into grave danger

Sawyer
1. Throw the jar of jelly at wall, sneering “I don’t need no sandwich”
2. Call the mascot on the jar of peanut butter lots of clever nicknames
3. Huff and puff and stomp around and grumble a lot
4. When no one’s looking, make perfect, even, symmetrical peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sit in a corner, enjoying every bite

Locke
1. Sit idly by, believing that the ingredients will find a way to make a sandwich out of themselves
2. Lose faith and make the sandwich anyway
3. Realize that you were the instrument by which the ingredients chose to make a sandwich after all
4. Run around the room and grab everyone’s knives, insisting that their sandwiches will do the same in time

Creepy. Classic.

You won't be able to do it.

From Tim Challies - Rich Daddy God Board Game

I triple dog dare you. You won't be able to do it. I laughed until my gut hurt.

A taste...

Timothy (in the yellow robe) is my personal favorite (and be sure to check out the picture of him on the box). This must be the face he made while Paul circumcised him. Philemon (second from the right) looks like a Mafia hit man while Barnabas (far left) looks inebriated and Paul (far right) looks like a televangelist.

But you'll have to go to the original post to see the picture.

Possibly the funniest thing I've seen in a year.

The Muppets cover Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody." So glad to see my all-time favorite Muppet, Lew Zealand.

Jon Stewart parodies Glenn Beck.



HT: BHT

At the new Evangel blog, Russell Moore posts:

An evangelical is a fundamentalist whose kids dress up for Halloween.

A conservative evangelical is a fundamentalist whose kids dress up for the church’s “Fall Festival.”

A confessional evangelical is a fundamentalist whose kids dress up for “Reformation Day.”

An emerging evangelical is a fundamentalist who has no kids, but who dresses up for Halloween anyway.

A revivalist evangelical is a fundamentalist whose kids dress up as demons for the church’s “Judgment House” community evangelism outreach.

A fundamentalist is a fundamentalist whose kids hand out gospel tracts to all those mentioned above.

Inspired by the Twitter meme #firstworldproblems, here are some frustrations that only make sense here.

The grocery store is out of the brand of bread you like.

Gasoline is up 5 cents a gallon from last week.

So hungry but "nothing sounds good."

The water coming out of the faucet tastes "funny."

The cable guy won't give me a specific appointment time.

My kid didn't collect enough box tops to earn an ice cream party.

If I don't water my lawn every other day, the grass browns.

The wait at the bank is, like, ten minutes long.

It's hard to get up for church because the bed feels so good.

The pizza delivery is late.

She only refilled my drink once. Do I tip 15%?

The bathtub drains slowly.

I don't feel "fulfilled" in my job.

Church camp is at Daytona Beach so you might have to tell your kid he has to sell candy bars or mow lawns to pay for half.

Kanye West aggravates you by interrupting an acceptance speech on MTV.

Feel free to contribute your own in the comments . . .
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Btw, one two-thirds world problem is "death by mosquito bite." Foreign concept to us. But a measly $4 buys a mosquito net.
I buy mine via Mosaic, an awesome missions org run by my friend Justin Holcomb and his wife Lindsey who recently left Virginia for Seattle, WA and now work for Mars Hill's educational and social justice efforts.
100% of your contributions to Mosaic go directly to the projects you want them to benefit. All overhead costs are paid for by a single benefactor so that every penny contributed by everybody else goes to help those in need. Can't beat that.

Deliberating whether to spend $4 on a mosquito net that helps save a life or on a cup of coffee? That's a first world problem for sure.