At our house, we are running a ministry to single socks. While doing laundry, we had 16 different mateless socks laid out.

Single people are important and useful to God. "It is good for a man not to marry" (I Cor. 7:1).

Single socks? Not so much. They need mates.

You can't make this stuff up. First Baptist Church, Fort Worth has a history better than fiction.

A new, long chapter in the church's history began when it called as pastor John Franklyn Norris, owner-editor of the Baptist Standard from 1907 to 1909. Norris accepted the pastorate in 1909 and remained at First Baptist for the rest of his life. The church lost at least 600 members in 1911 after a division, and the following year lost its building and pastor's home by fire. Though Norris was indicted for arson, he was acquitted after a month-long trial. During his long tenure, the church's personality became inseparably entwined with that of its pastor. It aligned with the prohibition movement, sponsored an interdenominational Bible school, and became the leader of the World's Christian Fundamentals Conference in 1919. That year the church built a 5,000-seat auditorium, and four years later it helped to form the Baptist Bible Union of America. Because of Norris's continued open criticism of the Southern Baptist Convention, his decision to discard SBC literature, his attacks on SBC schools (particularly Baylor University, which he charged with teaching "evolution and infidelity"), and his spirit of noncooperation, the Tarrant County Baptist Association withdrew fellowship from the church in 1922. The Baptist General Convention of Texas refused Norris a seat at the state convention in 1923 and permanently excluded him in 1924.

On July 18, 1926, Norris shot and killed a Fort Worth lumberman, Dexter Elliot Chipps, in the church office. He was charged with murder but was acquitted on a ruling of self-defense at his trial in Austin. Two years later the church and parsonage were burned again. By 1931 the church reported 12,000 members, with 6,000 attending Sunday school, and property valued at $1.5 million. Throughout the next two decades Norris and the First Baptist Church stood solidly against Modernism, Communism, liberalism, evolution, ecclesiasticism, and organized crime. The growing congregation gained notoriety for extreme independence, a controversial and pugilistic attitude, and a flare for sensationalism.

Discord and internal rivalry surfaced in 1945, when Norris's son George became pastor of a dissenting party that split from the First Baptist Church. Norris's health began to fail in 1948, and the Premillennium Fellowship fractured in May 1950, the same month Norris was dismissed by the church in Detroit.

Norris died on August 20, 1952, and the First Baptist Church called Homer Ritchie as pastor four days later. Ritchie served in that capacity until October 11, 1981, much of that time with his twin brother Omer serving as his co-pastor.

Did you get all that?
The pastor was acquitted of arson! Later he shot and killed a man in his church office. He was acquitted of murder on the grounds that it was self-defense. And two years later the church and parsonage burned again.

And here's my favorite part. Four days after he died, Homer Ritchie became pastor. Over the next 30 years, Homer and his brother Omer co-pastored the church. Homer and Omer. Man, even the Coen brothers couldn't make up stuff this good.

Of course the history on the church's official website doesn't mention any of that stuff. I guess I don't blame them.

A highly scientific analysis of the Thinklings' Moot-ichlorian counts:

thinklings moot-ichlorian counts:

rod: 35,000

bird: 28,000 with tolkeinian pipe (20,000 without)

bill: 21,500

shrode: 19,000

blo: approx. 18,500 (never around long enough to calculate)

I came in third, which is pretty respectable (ignore the fact that Shrode, who is a capital fellow by all accounts, has never been to Moot and this "blo" Stroke refers to is not a real person).

But this seems right. Rod is the Hub of the Thinklings Wheel and we all pretty much spend our time in awe of him anyway (and hope he posts again soon). And Bird is the bees knees, pipe or not. I can't imagine a Moot without Bird's running, hilarious commentary.

Just give me one of these.

-Mitt Romney will win the Republican Nomination in 2012... but will ultimately lose to Obama.

-Wearing your pants too low will finally go out of fashion, the direct cause being the "Pants on the ground" song which the general public will start singing behind the backs of guys wear their pants that way. The harassment will just become too much, and one man will have destroyed a fashion with a little song as catchy as a commercial jingle, and decent Americans everywhere will rise up and call him a hero.

-Arnold Schwarzenegger will make another Terminator movie after he moves out of the governor's mansion...because he will be desperate for popularity.

-Joe Biden will not return for Obama's second term, citing family and personal reasons, and Hillary will insist on being VP.


Obama will kill the "From Moon to Mars" space program, saying we need the money here on earth.

Joel Osteen will resign from public ministry because of depression. Dude's gonna burn out.

We will find Osama Bin Laden. (Because I needed to end on an optimistic note.)


I tried to make my predictions specific, and not obvious, so that if I'm right, you'll know. ;-) (In other words, I didn't write things like "Fox will start a stupid reality show" or "A politician will resign in scandal.") So what specific (and unexpected) predictions do you have?

Have you ever noticed how many really good verses in the Bible are chapter 3, verse 16? I know that the chapters and verses were added over a thousand years after the bible was written. So I realize it's just coincidence. But it's a cool one. So just for fun, I thought we should look at all the 3:16's in the New Testament and see what we learn.

As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. (Matthew)

These are the twelve he appointed: Simon (to whom he gave the name Peter) (Mark)

John answered them all, "I baptize you with water. But one more powerful than I will come, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire. (Luke)

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John)

By faith in the name of Jesus, this man whom you see and know was made strong. It is Jesus' name and the faith that comes through him that has given this complete healing to him, as you can all see. (Acts)

ruin and misery mark their ways (Romans)

Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? (I Corinthians)

But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. (II Corinthians)

The promises were spoken to Abraham and to his seed. The Scripture does not say "and to seeds," meaning many people, but "and to your seed," meaning one person, who is Christ. (Galatians)

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, (Ephesians)

Only let us live up to what we have already attained. (Philippians)

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. (Colossians)

v.13-May he strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones.(There was no I Thessalonians 3:16, so I used the last verse of chapter 3.)

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you. (II Thessalonians)

Beyond all question, the mystery of godliness is great:
He appeared in a body,
was vindicated by the Spirit,
was seen by angels,
was preached among the nations,
was believed on in the world,
was taken up in glory. (I Timothy)

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness (II Timothy)

Everyone with me sends you greetings. Greet those who love us in the faith.
Grace be with you all. (Titus 3:15 - last verse of the book.)

no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a man and as a brother in the Lord.( Philemon verse 16 - There's only one chapter.)

Who were they who heard and rebelled? Were they not all those Moses led out of Egypt? (Hebrews)

For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. (James)

keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. (I Peter)

He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction. (II Peter)

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. (I John)

So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.(Revelation)



Kind of a fun New Testament Survey, huh? If nothing else, at least this will help you remember the address for some common verses. Though I found reading these verses quite edifying.Did you notice that almost all of those verses are about Jesus?

You've done either/or before. But here you get to pick one out of three. Put your answers under comments.

Mild, Medium, or Hot

Rare, Medium, Well-Done

Coffee, Tea, Hot Chocolate

Soda, Pop, Tonic

Garfield, Heathcliff, Morris

Superman, Batman, Spiderman

Apple, Dell, or HP

Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, or Return Of the Jedi

Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer or George Clooney

Made In China, Made In Japan, Made In USA

7-Up, Sprite, Slice

Salsa, Picante, "hot sauce"

Dog, Cat, Goldfish

Waylon, Willie, Merle

Billy The Kid, Jesse James, Wyatt Earp

Staubach, Aikman, Romo

NBC, ABC, CBS

Cable, Satellite, Antennae

Firefox, Safari, Internet Explorer

Facebook, Twitter, Myspace

Matthew, Mark, Luke

Saint Augustine of Hippo, Saint Augustine of Canterbury, St. Augustine the Grass

SuperBowl Game, SuperBowl Commercials, Superbowl Nap

Football, Basketball, Baseball

Jack Bauer, Jack Shepherd, Jack Flack

Forward, Delete, Leave in In-Box forever

Cryptomundo offers up the Top Ten Cryptozoology Stories of 2009.

My fave, of course, is the Champ video.

- Twilight

- cats

- Rachel Ray

- "The View"

- Transiberian Orchestra and Manheim Steamroller (or whatever they're called)

- corn, esp. off the cob

- turkey burgers

- dudes wearing jeans made for dudettes

What about you? What don't you get?

Confession time:

What sayings/phrases/cliches/song lines etc... did you misunderstand and even repeat?

Here are some examples given in a blog I saw today:

"Don't Lick A Gimp Horse In the Mouth"

"It's a Doggie Dog World"

"Devil Make Hair"

"A Wayne In A Manger

"

Me first you say? Okay, here goes...

I used to attend a Baptist church that sang "The family of God" at the end of every service. We would join hands and sing it as our closing song. The words were never printed anywhere. So I thought it went, "Join hands with Jesus as we travel this side". (It's actually "joint heirs with Jesus as we travel this sod"). I felt like an idiot when I figured out I'd actually been singing the wrong words all those years...LOUD.

What about you?

Jared's previous post, plus some recent conversations, inspired this post (although this concept may have been posted on before).

Are there any phrases that bother you? Here are a few of mine:

"At the end of the day"

"It is what it is"

"leverage" - OK when used to describe the physical phenomenon, not so much when used in place of "use to our advantage", as in "Let's leverage our synergies to enhance our core competencies".

Can you tell that I've been exposed to lots of corporate-speak in my time? Thankfully, the leaders at the company I work at now eschew it.

I've got lots more, but they escape me at the moment. I'll put them in the comments when I think of them.

On a side note, Eldest daughter is particularly sensitive to certain one or two-word phrases, such as:

"Raffle"

"Hunker-down"

"Dollop"

She can't really explain why.

What about you? Are there any phrases that bug you?

A public service announcement.

"Mmm" is when you are tantalized by or hungry for something.
"Hmm" is when you are thinking about or contemplating something.
"Umm" is when you are hesitant or unsure.

Mixing them up can be, ummm, amusing.

Also:

"Yea" is when you're celebrating ("Yea, team!") or assenting to a vote ("I vote yea.").
"Yeah" is when you are answering in the affirmative.

Thirdly:

A "desert" is a dry environment.
A "dessert" is something sweet you eat after dinner.

Fourthly:

"Whoa" is when you're taken aback or stopping a horse.
"Woe" is a portend of something ominous.
"Whoah" and "Woa" are nothing. Seriously, don't use them.

Finally:

It is "Whoomp! There it is!", not "Womp" or "Oomp" and certainly never "Unhh."

That is all.

...but how does the poor zombie avoid being attacked? (Yes, this is a real news story. The link will not take you to the onion. :)

(10-25) 09:37 PDT Iowa City, Iowa (AP) --

Iowa City police are investigating an early morning assault in which a man accused another of being a zombie, then punched him twice. Police said the assault occurred at 1:17 a.m. Sunday at an Iowa City restaurant south of the University of Iowa campus.

A man was ordering food when he was approached by another man who called him a zombie, then hit him in the eye. When the victim tried to call police on his cell phone, the man punched him again, breaking his nose.

The man then ran out a back door.

The victim was taken by ambulance to a hospital.

Nobody cares about the poor zombie anymore.

So could this be categorized as a hate crime?

Snicker...

The rest of you . . . well . . . you'd probably be better off just moving along - nothing to see here :-)

Several years ago I completed a seven year run as an equipper of student worship bands. In the waning days of that time the last band I worked with recorded a few songs. The quality is not that great, but we had fun doing it (and Brian in Spring and I had fun mixing it on my Mac in an almost-all-nighter a few days later).

The quality on this one is especially bad (it was one of the first recorded and I didn't have my act together yet), but it's packed with great memories. This band was a great worship band, but we didn't mind playing some off the wall stuff too, at times. This is a cover of one of the songs from Alladin.

It took three takes, but I almost like listening to the chatter around the mistakes as much as the song itself (which doesn't actually start until about the 01:56 mark.

A more serious, more worshipful sample from this recording session can be found here.

We've posted this before. But it's the very definition of awesome (and re-posting is the dopest route to a post when you got nothin')

About five months ago my wife and I bought a home on a 2 acre plot of land out in the country. We're so far out in the sticks that we can't even get standard Internet access out here; we have to pay an arm and a leg for satellite service because our other option, dial up, is so ridiculously slow it's not even worth our time. Anyway, since moving out here we have affectionately labeled our home The Farm and we've got a small flock of chickens, and an even smaller flock of ducks. Hey, it's a start!

It's funny how so many truisms, axioms, and colloquialisms come from farm life -- and often times we don't even realize it. Let's take chickens for example. First off, they're chicken. In other words, they run away from you at the drop of a hat, they're easily spooked, and they're never walking in victory from fear. They're scaredy-cats. :-) All of sudden, being a chicken farmer makes me realize what it truly means to call someone a chicken.

Roosters, sometimes, can be the exception to the rule. A normal rooster can often be in-your-face, fearless (to an extent), and very capricious. Roosters are often called cocks, and it's easy to see where the term "cocky" comes from. Roosters are straight up cocky. I've gotten into more than a few fights with my rooster. One of these days I'll kill him and eat him ... we'll see how cocky he is on that fateful day.

Another thing is chickens are incredibly stupid. My wife thinks they're no smarter than bugs, and I think she's right. They don't "learn" like other animals. If you spray them with the water hose to keep them away from a certain area of the yard, they'll walk right back to that same area 10 seconds later. They have no retention.

On the positive side of things, if they're allowed to free-range around your property, they do a good job of keeping pests like ticks and other bugs to a minimum. The biggest benefit, of course, is the eggs they lay. We have nine hens and they're giving us about six eggs a day right now, and the eggs are much more yummy than the supermarket variety.

That's all I've got on chickens right now. Here's a photo of our flock:

Every time someone asks me how I want my hamburger, this scene plays in my head. (You only need to watch from 00:30 to 1:00)


That's Dirk Benedict (AKA Faceman and Starbuck)in 1981. This movie is about a Vietnam vet who comes to a small town, has trouble fitting into society, has run-ins with the locals and ends up having to use his army skills to fight and survive. (This movie came out 2 years before Stallone's "First Blood")

I saw it when I was in middle school on HBO and I've never forgotten the hamburger scene. Do you have a particular movie scene that replays itself at particular moments? For example, every time someone asks you your name you picture Mandy Patinkin saying, "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

Tell me under comments.

[Many thanks to frequent Thinklings commenter Wickle]