With regard to the famous Patterson-Gimlin film, most detractors dismiss it as a man in a monkey suit. In my opinion, modern eyes are colored by Hollywood special effects. From what I've read -- and I've read a decent amount on this subject -- if the P-G film was a hoax, it's one of the best hoaxes in modern history. Take 10 minutes to review this film that was aired on the National Geographic channel, because it might make you question your presuppositions.

Yesterday I had to call Microsoft Tech support. We are trying to use our computer to send and receive faxes. We've never done that before, but we're trying to set it up that way. So I called Microsoft so they could help me set it up.

I could actually understand what he was saying and he didn't sound like he was in India, so I was hopeful. He was also very friendly.

First he has me pull up Windows "Fax and Scan feature" and read it to him. Step 1 for setup says to plug my fax line into my fax modem. I have no fax modem. I explain this to him. He asks me if I have any modem, I tell him I have a DSL modem. He says, "In all honesty, I've never actually heard of a fax modem before. This is new to me." He asks me to hold while he researches this issue...

When he comes back to me, his first words to me are...

Wait for it....

"According to Wikipedia..."

You can pick yourself up off the floor now.

So now Microsoft techs are using Wikipedia for their research. You may go ahead and let your laughter out now. No one around you will mind. I wonder if Wikipedia knows this? I can see the ad tag now, "Microsoft uses us to learn how to use their own products."

Also spoken to me by my Microsoft tech support specialist while we were talking...

"Pardon me, but my browser is going slow. It's been acting funky all day."

I wonder if I should have suggested that he try Firefox?

Finally, he discovered by doing "research" that I need to go buy another modem, one that will be analog so that it can dial phone numbers, which a digital modem will not. Though he's not sure even then that it will work. He suggested I call my ISP to make sure they would recognize it and support it. In my Microsoft guy's defense, the dude at my ISP tech support had never heard of it either. And he said, "I asked around and all the other guys around here are shrugging their shoulders."

I should also say in my Microsoft guy's defense, that he was a very nice guy and he really tried. I don't blame him. I blame the Microsoft machine (both literal and metaphorical.)

So apparently, Microsoft Windows has been listing as a feature for a decade now that your computer can send and receive faxes, but no one actually knows how. I have this theory that no one actually does it, but we all assume that someone out there is...

It's like having a red button that says "turbo boost" on your car you've never pushed. You have it, so it must be cool...but you never use it. I wonder how many other features Windows claims to have, but they aren't actually real things?

I close with my second favorite quote (following "According to Wikipedia...") spoken by my Microsoft Rep...

"Oh my God. I'm getting blocked by a firewall on my end."

:-)

last night that I woke up this morning, only to find that Bill had live-blogged "LOST" last night, and all of you had been discussing it here on Thinklings, and so I was skimming a very long comment thread about a LOST episode that I had missed because they moved it to Sunday night without my knowing...

Tells you what sorts of things I worry about, huh?

Scary.

Contra vs. Duck Hunt

There is so much awesomeness here, it may blow up your monitor.

Baylor University, my alma mater, has named Ken Starr the new president of the university. Yes, that Ken Starr.

Interesting.

(In no particular order.)

- Native American legends and artifacts depicting ape-like men (see Sasquatch: Legend Meets Science)

- The massive number of sightings in regions of the country where you'd expect such sightings (e.g. the Pacific Northwest)

- Tracks, tracks, and more tracks ... and some with inexplicable dermal ridges

- The legendary Patterson-Gimlin film

- The Jacob's Creature photo

- I've seen one (just kidding)

Cryptomundo offers up the Top Ten Cryptozoology Stories of 2009.

My fave, of course, is the Champ video.

Yes!

Cryptomundo shares a researcher's report:

Last night ~ November 30th, police on the west side of San Antonio received a 911 call from multiple eyewitnesses who claimed that they saw a hairy, hominid standing over six feet tall, run out of the woods and kill a deer. The incident was reported to the local media and broadcast earlier today. The witnesses were apparently homeless and responding officers who interviewed them found them to be completely sober and rational, though understandably scared. The police chose not to search for the creature.

I have just returned from a stake out of the area, which is located at the intersection of Loop 1604 and highway 151, about ten miles from where I live. The area is somewhat developed, although fairly wooded and located near several creeks. Most of the area is private property and is fenced with barbed wire.

Obviously I was not about to trespass and I’m still not 100% sure of the exact location of the incident. Reporter Joe Conger from Eyewitness News did visit the exact spot earlier today and told me there were some animal bones present.

I plan on returning there with him tomorrow to look for tracks and other evidence.

Best Wishes All! ~
Ken Gerhard,
December 2, 2009,
2:13:02 AM EST.

I found this really interesting. According to TechDirt, Napoleon Dynamite is algorithm proof. Wikipedia puts it this way:

It is surprisingly difficult to predict how viewers will react to Napoleon Dynamite as it tends to polarize audiences in a "love it or hate it" fashion. Researchers and algorithm workers at Netflix have found that they are unable to predict whether or not a particular viewer will like Napoleon Dynamite based on their ratings of previously viewed films, making it one of only a select few movies that pose this problem.

How about you? Answer two questions:

1. If you've seen Napoleon Dynamite, did you like it?
2. What's your favorite movie?

Maybe we can sort out Dynamite-liking tendencies based on common ground in favorite movies among the commenters. :-)

getting Aldrin'ed -- verb. Receiving a knuckle sandwich in response to inadvertently asking for one.

ie. Documentarian Bart Sibrel, who claims the moon landing was faked, calls Commander Buzz a coward and a liar and totally gets Aldrin'ed.

Kid gets hit by meteorite.

No word on when his superpowers kick in.

If this is intentionally awful, it is brilliant.

Breaking new Champ video. From Cryptomundo:

There is breaking news from Vermont of new footage of an alleged lake monster (”Champ”?) from Lake Champlain.

This appears to be a developing story in the state . . .

More on Champ.

Driving around town this afternoon, I was punching every button on my car radio's presets and simply not liking anything I was hearing. I decided to tune my radio to the classic rock station (I don't have it preset), and as I was tuning, I specifically thought, "Man, I hope AC/DC's 'Back in Black' is on."

Guess what was on when I tuned in.

Yep.

1- Bi-partisanship, smartisanship, dumbisanship...oh, phooey. When virtually EVERY member of the other party votes against it, maybe that should mean something if you actually care about bi-partisanship. But it doesn't. At the end of the day, idealogy is what matters. And this is liberal idealogy, plain and varnished.

2- We don't have the money. Seriously, we don't. Read carefully now. "WE. DON'T. HAVE. THE. MONEY." Of course, on the upside, if China decides not to loan us the money the stimulus package won't be able to be implemented anyway. This last sentence is not a joke and my tongue isn't in my cheek. I'm serious. The money will have to be borrowed from foreigners.

3- It's mostly government spending. Do you seriously think that money can be used most efficently by government entities to stimulate the economy? That's like deciding to send a team of five year olds to water your garden by walking from a pond to your garden with sponges. Yeah, some water's gonna get there...

4-So many of the jobs "created" are temporary construction jobs. I mean, come on, people. Do you really think that's going to stimulate the economy or have long-term impact? Yes, it will help some construction companies and workers for a couple years, but then what?...

5- The debt amassed here that will have to be paid by your children's tax dollars is beyond most of our comprehension. Think about how much of your monthly mortgage payment goes to interest. Now multiply that by a million, or a billion or a trillion or a gazillion. Oh, nevermind. Who knows how much anymore?

6- It's socialism. So much of this involves government takeover and/or handouts it's .... I don't have a word.

7- Tax Cuts would work better. When people have more money, they spend it, or invest it. That's how the economy actually works. Really. And by the way, I mean actual tax cut, meaning that you send less of your money to the government. I don't mean "tax rebate" checks, or "tax refund" checks which are actually wealth redistribution when people who don't actually pay income tax get checks. I mean actual tax cuts where you and companies having to pay less at the end of the year. Or how about a tax moratorium? Rather than spending billions of dollars, why not just suspend taxes for one year? Well, OK. I don't know far $787 billion will go. Will that support our Federal Gov't for a few months maybe? During that "tax-free period" the government can borrow money to fund itself, and fund all the states too. How's that for stimulus? :)

8- The liberals used this as an excuse to spend money on their pet projects. The list of things in this package law "wish-list come true" is truly ridiculous. For congress and state governments it's like Christmas. And like the Little Shop of Horrors, those pets are going to keep growing and demanding more and more, long past our ability to feed them. "Feed me, Seymour."

9- Now more people will be on the dole. How are we going to keep paying those people once the stimulus money runs out? It's hard to go back people. Just look at Social(ism) Security. We used to live without it. Now it's political suicide to even think anything against it. And right now some of you are thinking about me, "Hey, my grandmother lives on social security. How dare you!" Exactly.

10-State and Local Governments are salivating. Today Texas Governor Rick Perry announced that contrary to his previous statement that Texas wouldn't take its billions from the Federal government, he's changed his mind. He wants to spend that money enhancing border security. State governments are going to be duped into taking that money and boosting social programs. And once the federal funds run out, they'll be faced with state government programs that they can't pay for, but that the public will continue to expect. It's political suicide to stop hand-outs. But they can't wait to get that money to do all kinds of things. Do you think they'll cut local taxes since they are getting so much outside funding? NO WAY! Now they get to do more.

11-Headlines like this one - How stimulus will affect you - The $787 billion package passed by Congress offers tax breaks, tuition help, and more. » What you'll get (from the Yahoo Home Page)

Greed is greed, Mr. President. Whether it's a corporate CEO or a plumber. And here you are not just encouraging the deadly disease of "I-want-itus" but creating it too.

12- The same Government that broke our economy by making banks adhere to their liberal agenda, is trying to fix it by making more industries adhere to their liberal agenda.

13- The same President that decries "corporate greed" is now fostering greed among state and local governments in ways previously unimaginable.

14- I don't think it's going to work. It reminds me of a story my former pastor told me. He had a church member who was a dermatologist. The pastor asked the dermatologist to look at a rash his son had. The doctor said,"We have two options. I can write you a prescription for a cream, and the rash should go away in about 6 weeks or you can just wait for it to go away on its own" My pastor said, "How long will that take?" "About 6 weeks", came the reply.

Please tell me good things about "Porkulous Rex" in comments. I'd love to hear something positive. And I don't mind being proven wrong. (Well, not too much anyway. ) Or maybe you want to tell me why you're mad too. How long can we make this list?

OR PLEASE DO THIS FOR FUN - How many cool nicknames can you folks come up with for this monstrosity?

Fox News is interviewing a financial "expert" about how to fix the economic crisis. His name: Chuck Norris.

Insert requisite Chuck Norris joke (related to the economy) here.

I knew there was a reason I never watch cable news.

I've always wanted to visit Japan. Now I know I must get there someday.

There's a tavern north of Tokyo that employs monkey waiters.

HT: Deadly Viper Character Assassins Blog

I know this guy is stupid, but I love it.



(HT: The Haggard)

There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who think this is awesome. And those who think it's awesomer.



(HT: BHT)