Macy has this curious little dialogical habit when dealing with the unpleasantness of not getting her way. A conversation will go like this:
Macy ? I want the white glue and the blue glue, Dad.
Dad ? Here?s the white glue. I don?t see the blue glue in here.
Macy (whining) ? Daaaa-dy! I want the bluuue gluuuue.
Dad ? It?s not in here, Mace. I don?t know where it is. Just use the white glue for right now.
Macy ? I just don?t want the blue glue, Dad.
For the sake of brevity, I?ve edited down the typical exchange here, as usually it takes longer to get from point A (I want the blue glue) to point B (I don?t want the blue glue). But do you see how she tries to make it look like she?s changed her mind, to make it look like she?s really getting her way? She does this all the time, and my guess is that it?s her way of still asserting some sense of control even when dealing with a reality she didn?t desire to begin with. Sort of her way of saying ?I can?t have it? Well, I didn?t want it anyway,? but thinking she?s being sneaky about it.
But, hey, for all I know, maybe she is actually changing her mind and just dealing with reality. And when I pondered that today, a spiritual lesson landed in my head. How often does what we want coincide with the reality God presents us with? Not often. But the key aim of following Jesus is conforming our will to His. We have to get beyond the point of doing God?s will grudgingly, out of a sense of duty, as if, had we our druthers, we?d rather be doing something else.
Of course, had we our druthers, we probably would be doing something else. I?m taking for granted that followers of Jesus will want to do what Jesus wants them to. I?m assuming that we will realize that God knows what is best for us, and so even if the task He calls us to seems hard or unpleasant or unexpected, we will ultimately want to do it.
But first we have to want to want to do it, and that requires conforming our will to reality. Setting our desires and plans aside, we embrace God?s will. We change our mind about what we wanted before and decide to really want what God gives us.
The dialogue may go like this:
Me ? I hate my neighbor.
God ? You have to love your neighbor.
Me ? Okay, but I don?t like him.
God ? You have to love him.
Me ? I know I have to, but I don?t want to. It?s too hard/embarrassing/humbling/etc.
(insert a time of spiritual negotiation here, in which God?s terms don?t change, but my mind and heart does)
God ? I am God, and I say you must love your neighbor.
Me ? Because you are God, I will not only love my neighbor, I will want to love him.
In our case, of course, it?s not a game. We don?t ?appear? to change our mind to provide a semblance of compliance. We truly, honestly conform our previously stubborn will to the inevitable reality of God?s will. We embrace it, by changing our mind and letting our heart follow. Or maybe it?s the other way around. In any event, we don?t settle for merely doing what God commands; we commit to enjoy doing what God commands and conform our will to the shape of His reality.
We decide that if there?s only white glue to be had, we don?t want the blue glue anyway.





hi jared,
i just today finished up lewis' perelandra, which i found extraordinarily moving (ransom's dialog with maledil as he struggles with his inadequacy/fear etc. really touched me). But in your post, macy reminds me of the green lady, for whom there is no fruit better than that which she is eating in the moment.