I had a good chat with Brandi tonight on where I'm at with God in regard to what I'm digging into in His word. I feel a stirring to camp out in Romans 9. I remember the first time I really read Romans 9 was back in 1995, I thought "that's weird" and simply moved on. The truth is, the reality of what I read in Romans 9 unsettled me. It didn't jibe with my paradigm. It didn't fit my view of God. It made no sense.

These days I'm starting to see things differently. The author and theologian, Greg Boyd (whose helpful book Present Perfect has been making the rounds at my church), suggests that our God is a God who risks. But I see a dichotomy between the idea of a risk-taking God who cannot know the future (as the open theist Boyd believes), and the God I read about in Romans 9. I don't want a God who risks; I want a God who is in the heaven, and who does whatever He pleases (Psalm 115:3).

But this post isn't about Romans 9, it's about Romans 8. :-)

Around this time last year, the Holy Spirit started stirring a passion within me to study, memorize, and ingest Romans 8. As I started to "eat the book," I began to see Romans 8 in a new light. It was no longer merely a comforting and meandering chapter in the New Testament; it was a living, breathing gospel -- a double-edged sword that wounds us and bandages us (Hosea 6:1).

I'm of the opinion that Romans 8 is the greatest chapter in a Bible that is full of great chapters. If I could have one page from the Bible for the rest of my life, it would be Romans 8. I love Romans 8, with a passion.

It teaches me that there is no condemnation for His children:

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. -- Romans 8:1

It teaches me that the flesh is "enmity" against God, and the result of that enmity is God's displeasure:

So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God. -- Romans 8:8

It teaches me that the sons of God, those who are led by His Spirit, are adopted into His family:

The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God. -- Romans 8:16

It teaches me to keep an eternal perspective when I suffer:

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. -- Romans 8:18

It teaches me that the Holy Spirit (called "the Spirit of He who raised Jesus from the dead" in verse 11) intercedes for us:

Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. -- Romans 8:26

It teaches me that "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).

And it teaches me that he foreknew me, predestined me, called me, justified me, and glorified me (see Romans 8:30).

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? -- Romans 8:31

The chapter ends with the force of a volcanic explosion, with fire, lava, and rock melting the the satanic ideas of separation, fear, loneliness, and despair.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

As it is written: 'For your sake we are killed all day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.'

Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. -- Romans 8:35-39

For Christ's sake we are killed all day long. That's not prosperity, that's death. Yet in those very things (namely, death and slaughter), we are "more than conquerors" and eternally united with the risen Lord.

Romans 8 makes me happy.

Therefore the LORD heard this and was furious;
So a fire was kindled against Jacob,
And anger also came up against Israel,
Because they did not believe in God,
And did not trust in His salvation.
-- Psalm 78:21 & 22

Beware, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God. ... -- Hebrews 3:12

Tomorrow is a big day, but I have no anxiety right now. Meditating on the above passages tonight has helped me to remember that unbelief is, well, evil. I will hold the beginning of my confidence steadfast to the end, and I will wait for the salvation of Yahweh.

If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods ... -- Daniel 3:17 & 18 (ESV)

I love the confidence of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They know God will deliver them, but even if he doesn't -- "but if not" -- then they still won't bow.

I trust God for His deliverance, and I know He will deliver us from so great a death (2 Cor. 1:10), but if that deliverance is not what I expect, then I still won't bow to the god of this age.

He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces ... -- Isaiah 53:3 (ESV)

In a strange way, that aspect of JESUS' life -- the rejection, the sorrow, the grief -- is what compels me the most these days.

I woke up again this morning (at 5 a.m.) with my emotions rattled from a dream I was having about seeing my children. I looked over to Abigail, she was crying, and my emotions spiked and woke me up. I wish I could have stayed there.

As I tossed and turned, ruminating on my grief, I thought of Isaiah 53:3. It didn't make the pain go away, but it made me thankful that God simply knows. He knows suffering. The Father via the Son's suffering ("He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?"), and the Son was, as Isaiah points out, "acquainted with grief."

I'm alright now. But at any time during the day I can have a "Then I remember" moment. I had one yesterday at work, just sitting at my desk. I had to fight back tears and regain composure.

In order to deal with the pain of life, I have several needles to choose from: food, TV, games, books, sleep, the Internet, et cetera. There are some I've never been tempted to try; alcohol abuse and narcotics come to mind. There are some, by God's grace, I'll never go back to. Through it all, though, His pain -- His blood -- is the salve my wounds ache for. And by His grace I am hopefully "always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested ..." (2 Cor. 4:10).

The Son of God suffered unto the death, not that men might not suffer, but that their sufferings might be like His.
-- George MacDonald (via C.S. Lewis)

For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.

We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed -- always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.

For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.

-- 2 Corinthians 4:6-11

There are times lately where I've doubted God's existence, His goodness, or His provision. Interestingly enough, those times of doubt are always superficial; I'm a shallow doubter.

Like Thomas I've said, "Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe."

How did JESUS respond to such obstinacy? "Reach your finger here, and look at My hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing."

Thomas appropriately responded, "My Lord and my God!"

I was thinking about that passage on Sunday morning. (Sometimes Sundays can be a challenge, since those have always been family days for us. As Johnny Cash sang, "'Cos there's something in a Sunday, that makes a body feel alone.") Well, this past Sunday morning at church, I felt JESUS again reassuring my soul, saying, "Reach your finger here." I felt like He was telling me to reach out my hand, to touch my brothers and sisters in Christ, because they are His presence here with me, and to "not be unbelieving, but believing."

I'm humbled by His mercy.

Yesterday I quoted 1 John 1:5, and essentially asked God how He can truly be light when sometimes all I see is darkness. I think His response, almost humorously, is found in John 1:5, "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." (ESV)

I'm feeling better today. Sleepy, but recharged in many ways. Maybe it's all of your prayers sustaining me?

I've been mediating lately on Titus 3:3-7, trying to memorize it.

3 For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another.

4 But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared,

5 not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit,

6 whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior,

7 that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

I'm comforted to know that our salvation is not dependent in any way on "works of righteousness which we have done," but, rather, "His mercy." "Works of righteousness," I think, transcends the narrow definition of Old Testament law, and brings the whole idea of "works" into the realm of anything we do to become righteous in His eyes. We can't do anything, not without Him initiating in us and working through our hearts.

I've been free -- thank you, JESUS -- from sexual addiction for almost three years now! When I think about my previous level of addiction, and how it's completely non-existent in my life now, I'm amazed -- simply amazed. I know that I have nothing to do with being free, because my will is not sovereign and self-determining -- His is.

Thank you, Yahweh. It's worth everything.

I feel compelled to study 1 Peter, slowly. The first few verses are so weighty, so profound, so full of practical theological implications for my family and so many of our friends who are suffering in some form or fashion right now.

"Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ ..."

Peter proclaims his apostolic authority from the get-go.

"To the ... elect according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, in sanctification of the Spirit, for obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ: Grace and peace be multiplied."

I see the Godhead -- Father, Son, and Holy Spirit -- represented here as the single driving force in the process of election according to His foreknowledge. I see the tri-relational God, Yahweh, intimately involved in His saints' election, for "salvation ready to be revealed in the last time" (vs. 5).

The thought of a truly sovereign Lord is deeply comforting, especially right now. A God who in His sovereignty responded to Moses' request, in Exodus 33, to "show me your glory," by saying "I will proclaim the name of Yahweh before you. I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion." That God is big!

The glory of God is intrinsic to His sovereignty.

To that I say, "Yes, JESUS!"

For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by us -- by me, Silvanus, and Timothy -- was not Yes and No, but in Him was Yes. For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us. -- 2 Cor. 1:19 & 20

Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift in the sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brethren; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. . . .

If I must boast, I will boast in the things that show my weakness. The God and Father of the Lord Jesus, he who is blessed forever, knows that I am not lying. -- from 2 Corinthians 11 (ESV)

He kind of makes me feel like a wimp.

I believe Christians will be talking about John Piper hundreds of years from now in much the same way people currently talk about guys like John Wesley, Jonathan Edwards, and Charles Spurgeon.

In this short clip Piper expounds on Romans 8:31-39, explaining what "more than conquerors" means.

Back in May, when this trial first came up, I believe the Lord gave me this passage specifically for our situation:

For we do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, of our trouble which came to us in Asia: that we were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life itself. Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead, who delivered us from so great a death, and does deliver us; in whom we trust that He will still deliver us, you also helping together in prayer for us, that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the gift granted to us through many. -- 2 Corinthians 1:8-11