We had a difficult time last night. Brandi called me after 10 p.m. and told me the kids had a hard "we miss daddy" time.

They had watched an episode of Little House on the Prairie where Charles (their father) had to leave his family for a long time to go find work. The family struggled without him there, but by the end of the episode they were all reunited and happy. Brandi said when the episode was over, she thought everyone was alright but then Daniel started weeping, and all the other kids joined in. The whole incident lasted about half an hour.

Here's the thing, in light of what my therapist (see the blog post below) requested from us, we feel like we're in a holding pattern as far as telling the kids what the situation is. What makes things worse is they still think they can talk to me on the phone -- that breaks my heart. Nathan even said, "I'll call daddy tomorrow. That will make me feel better."

We need wisdom from the Lord. Despite the therapist's suggestion, we're both leaning toward Brandi letting the kids know some of the situation, and explaining to them why I can't talk to them on the phone for now.

I feel like I'm tied down, immobile, and my children are being tortured before my eyes while I'm powerless to do anything about it.

From Psalm 143:

For the enemy has persecuted my soul;
He has crushed my life to the ground;
He has made me dwell in darkness,
Like those who have long been dead.
Therefore my spirit is overwhelmed within me;
My heart within me is distressed. . . .

Deliver me, O Yahweh, from my enemies;
In You I take shelter.