I ate dinner with Brandi tonight. I was a bit melancholy but she helped cheer me right up. She's good that way.

I just miss my kids so much. Nothing in life is the same without them. In many ways I've achieved a kind of normalcy in this season of life and I'm making appropriate adjustments, but I still feel like a wanderer. And I still sometimes feel a deep sense of loneliness. The burden of separation is a difficult thing to think about.

So I don't think sometimes. I work. I watch football. I read. I blog. I sleep. Because when I think, I feel pain. On the other hand, I know that the reality of this present pain will make the joy of reunion all the more memorable. But when is that going to happen? Blocked love is tantamount to excruciating pain.

I love my children. In Romans 9 Paul says, "For I could wish that I myself were accursed from Christ for my brethren, my countrymen according to the flesh." Yesterday I had a thought, Could I say that about my kids? That I could wish that I myself were accursed from Christ for their sake? Absolutely. It's comforting to know, though, that it's not up to me, but it's up to God. He'll perfect the work in them, and He'll guide us through this valley of deep darkness. Joy comes in the morning.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.
-- Jude 24 & 25