Everything was going fine. I had just had a pleasant thought -- I enjoy life right now -- and within 60 seconds I started to think about my children. Less than two minutes later I was weeping.

That's how life goes these days. I haven't seen my kids since May 26. I haven't spoken with them since mid-August. That's the reality of life right now.

The last time I saw Evangeline she was 11 months old. Now she's 16 months old. Babies grow a lot in five months. In some ways, I feel like I don't know her anymore -- and she doesn't know me.

Brandi told me that her and the kids would be going to Mardel Christian Bookstore tonight. How I wish I could just show up there and hold them all for five minutes. That would literally be the happiest five minutes of my life.

I know that God has a plan and a purpose in our lives. But I'm ready for this pain to be over.

"Passing through the Valley of Weeping (Baca), they make it a place of springs; the early rain also fills [the pools] with blessings" (Psalm 84:6 AMP).