A somewhat-delayed Liveblog of the latest episode of 24 is below.




******* SPOILERS FOLLOW ********

Viewer Discretion is Advised . . .

Previously, Cole does amazing heroic things, Fredo kills someone with a pen and runs to the Russians, Horace gets shot, Horace's corpse irradiates CTU (slightly) with "weapons grade uranium", the old, evil Russian henchman callously displays his son, dying of radiation sickness, DarkBitterRenee volunteers for deep undercover and flirts with a parolee before SLICING HIS THUMB OFF. And Jack gets squeamish.

View of the Islamic Republic of Somewhereistan. Fredo is calling in. He's getting chewed out by a Somewhereistan cohort for his epic fail in killing his brother. Fredo's trying to get payment wired to the old, evil Russian's account for the uranium.

Old, evil Russian and Sark give dying brother some water (to show that they are not so cruel, I suppose). Sark wants to get a doctor to help his brother, but that would give away the plan, so NO DOCTORS. Sark presses his case and old, evil Russian gives in.

Fredo tells him that the money will be transferred to his account shortly - within five hours. To help him pass the time, the evil Russian brings in two Russian hookers. Fredo eyes them greedily and the door closes.

Cut to Renee and Jack. The unconscious, thumbless Russian (GROSS) is "still bleeding out". Jack's going to call Hastings to "shut this down". Jack is accusing Renee of being unstable. This is a bit ironic. Jack doesn't think she's fit for this mission. Renee thinks she's gone through a "rough patch" but she's come out on the other side. Jack's not buying it.

Making that phone call Jack?

No. But Jack's watching and listening. Renee's going to see what she can get out of the Russian guy.

He wakes up. "YOU CUT OFF THUMB!!!!" She (literally) tells him to quit whining like a baby. Cold. She starts talking money, and he comes around. He comes around way more quickly than I would have.

Jack's listening in. Chloe calls Jack to see how the thumbless Russian got out of his bracelet. Jack won't say, but Chloe knows what's up, I think.

Dana's stressed, and she's behind the time-line. She's still getting calls from horrible subplot boyfriend. He needs to see her - within fifteen minutes.

Does anyone else hate this subplot?

He's threatening to call Cole and tell him that Dana is an ex-con. Does CTU not do background checks? So, she's going to do what he says. She tells Arlo to cover for her. He's pretty skeptical, as am I. I think she's going to regret this. . . But, on the bright side, her commute to work is only like five minutes. Mine's forty five minutes, so I'm jealous.

Shes an amazing computer hacker. Can't she just delete him or something?

***** Commercial *****

Now we're with President Allison Taylor (bummer). Her chief of staff breaks the news that Fredo's trying to buy nuclear materials. Nuclear materials that are here on U.S. soil.

In other news, Hassan's security forces are cracking down in Somewhereistan's capital. This could "delegitimize the peace accord".

Cut to Renee and the thumbless Russian. He's being pretty bonhomie for having just had his thumb carved off. He's taking her to Vladamir, and they are only ten minutes away. He casually takes a swig of vodka, presumably with the hand that has an opposable thumb. Enjoy it, thumbless Russian. My guess is your minutes are numbered.

Hassan walks into a conference room where President Taylor waits for him. He defends his reasons behind the crackdown, because he feels like today's attempt was a coup attempt and he must take action. He plans on purging the elements that tried to remove him. "It's the only thing my people understand". Taylor's asking him to find a "middle way".

Hassan is having none of this, and wants to see his family, now!

Now we're in a car with Sark and his dying brother. They are speaking perfect English. Sark at least sounds slightly European. His brother sounds like he's from Denver. Maybe they were born in the U.S, I dunno. Since I've been live-blogging this, I must have missed something, because Sark swerves to escape the follow-car. He's going to take his brother to a doctor. I thought that was the agreement? But I guess not - because he's obviously going against his cruel Russian father's wishes.

****** Commercial ******

President Taylor looks worried. We cut to Hassan's wife and daughter. The daughter wants to stay. Mom says that her father isn't what she thinks, but she doesn't want to poison her against her father.

Hassan walks in, and after embracing his daughter, asks to speak to his wife alone.

"We have nothing to say to each other," she says. She knows about the affair with the reporter. "I'm your wife darnit". She wants to know if he loved her (the reporter, not herself).

Hassan switches the subject to talk about his brother. She gets kind of misty eyed because he is asking for her advice. "Will you stay?" he asks. "It's too late for that Omar." Dalia gets her purse and leaves.

Good scene. I like that actress.

Cut back to to Renee and the thumbless Russian, Jack surreptitiously clinging to their tail. She convinces TR (his name's Zia) to go in and warm Vladamir up.

Zia is let into a warehouse filled with the Russian underworld. Zia's smiling and friendly. He's gonna soon be dead, methinks, because Vladamir is not happy. I think Vlad's worried about the bracelet. Zia shows his wounded hand and spills the beans, Vlad's glock at his forehead, and tells them about Renee. But Vladamir lets him live, and asks where Renee is.

****** Commercial ******

I forgot how hard Liveblogging is. My fingers hurt.

Back at CTU - Cole asks Arlo where Dana/Jenny is. The silly girl is at her apartment door. Creepy boyfriend Kevin and Nick, his buddy from Beaumont (eh?), are crashed in the apartment. She hands him a bankroll of $500 and tells him she'll give him another $500 in the morning.

"You think you're smart," Kevin says to her. That makes one of us.

He slams her against the wall. Evidently they both went to prison for some youthful indiscretion. He thinks she testified against him, because he was in jail longer, so he slaps her down to the ground. She claims it's because she went in as a minor.

Anyone besides me hope that Jack meets up with this guy eventually? Or Cole? Heck, even Chloe. Just someone, please hurt him good, soon.

Kevin's going to blackmail Dana/Jenny. He wants to get information out of CTU that he can use to do more crime. "Payoff will have to be six figures".

He says if she does this one thing for him, he's gone. "I can't" she says. As for me, "I can't" believe that she's still talking to this guy. She's friends with beefy guys with guns. And engaged to a less beefy guy with a gun who's already faced way worse than Kevin tonight.

Back to Jack and Renee, sitting in their respective cars, talking on their comms. He's going to feed her her back-story. Zia appears at Renee's car window and has come to get her. Just then, Chloe calls Jack - evidently Vladamir was violent with Renee in the past. Jack thinks she is purposefully putting herself in harms way.

Renee walks into the warehouse, and is searched. Funny how they never check for an ear-piece. She is very poised through all this.

"Hello Vlad. You changed your face. Makes you look younger." He admits he did. Evidently he killed the doctor who did it. "Sad story".

"So, give me names." Jack begins feeding her names. She coolly feeds the info to Vladamir. He tells her she looks like heck. But there's something else wrong with her. "Have you been sick?" He's peppering her with questions. He's asking her for the name of a local politician she should know. Chloe is feverishly looking up this information. Hopefully her computer isn't running Vista.

Right before Vlad is about to go nuts about the non-answer he's getting and as Renee's starting to run out of street-smart stall tactics, Chloe comes through. "Raul Castillo, alright? Are we done playing twenty questions?" - Renee is so cool.

Vlad appears to accept her answer, but then decides to tie her and Zia up and put them in the trunk. Crud . . .

Trunk must be lead-lined or something, because Jack's lost comm. The car pulls out.

Maybe we'll get some action here, finally?

Jack follows the car as it pulls out. "I think this operation just blew up". Chloe is alerting Hastings to scramble a team now. Jack figures they are going to kill Renee.

Wait for it . . . Wait for it . . .


DARN IT!!!!!!

****** Commercial ******

Last segment.

Sark and his brother get to the doctor's. The doctor says he can't help them, but he ends up looking down a gun barrel. Sark lets him know that the doctor's family is going to die if he doesn't do something. The doctor is concerned that the symptoms are too far advanced.

Hastings calls Jack - the tac team is on its way. Three minutes out. Jack is saying that we need to engage NOW. Stand by for INTERCEPT PROTOCOLS!!

The Russians park at a deserted dock and begin cocking their weapons. Unfortunately, Jack figures out he's been following a decoy! Oh crud.

Jack: "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!"

"Take them down to the warf". Sounds like they are planning on offing Renee and Zia. Chloe pinpoints the location and Hastings figures that the tac teams are ten minutes out. Naturally.

DARN IT!!!!!

Jack spins his car around, tires squealing.

I expect Zia has a 0% chance of getting through this. I expect Renee may make it.

Whoa. There goes Zia, double pumped in the head. He's dead, and Renee didn't even blink. Vlad points the gun at her.

"Go ahead" she whispers. "Don't make me grovel, just pull the darn trigger"

Vlad wants to know who she really is. She replies, "You are right. I am sick. I'm so sick of living like this. Even if you let me walk right now, I've got no where to go, and no one to go to. This deal is the only thing that I have"

"Do it. DO IT! PULL THE TRIGGER," she yells.

Vlad bought it. "I had to be sure". Lot of good that does poor old Zia now. "Dump him in the river".

Hastings wants a status update. Jack tells him "tell the tac teams to stand down. She's in. They bought her cover"

And I'm out. What a boring show tonight . . .

Beep Boop Beep Boop Beep

Next week: Renee goes dark (as if she wasn't dark enough already). The doctor can't guarantee a recovery, so Sark promises to shoot him. Hassan won't call of his thugs, and Vlad puts the moves on.

For a much more funny recap, I highly recommend Dave Barry's blog.