Disclaimer: The following letter is for currently married men. It is not intended to beat up on "once-married" men. "Planning to be married one-day" men should read this too though.

Dear Husband,

On your wedding day you said “I promise to love you” or something to that effect. You made that promise to God and you made it to your wife.

It is common in Hollywood and sadly even in life for people to treat love like it is a force of its own. “I just don’t love you anymore” people say, as though they have no control over the matter. But love is not some sort of impersonal force, like wind or fate, over which you have no control. Why would we be commanded to love others if we had no choice in the matter? (See I Cor 13 to learn that love is defined by action and attitude.)

You do have the power to decide whether you love your wife or not. At least you believed you had that power when you promised to love her. Men love power. We love power tools and the more powerful the tool, the more we love it, whether we need it or not. We love powerful engines and the powerful noise they make. We want to be strong. We want to be powerful. We want to have the power over our own destiny, our own time, our own space and we resent it when we don’t.

So why is it that men are so quick to abdicate their power to love their wives? How hypocritical to think you are so manly and powerful that you could fend off a burglar or kill a rattlesnake, but you are impotent against your own feelings. My dad used to ask me this, "Are you a man or a mouse?" Well, man up. Your father taught you that a man’s word was his bond. Keep your promise.

“When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it. Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the temple messenger, "My vow was a mistake" (Ecclesiastes 5:4-6).

It doesn’t much matter if you made a mistake or not. It doesn’t much matter if you married the “right” person or not. You are married now and you made a promise. Keep it.

Here’s the good news. Keeping your wedding vows does not merely mean “stay married.” The promise you made was to love your wife. That’s a good thing. God intends for you to you enjoy your marriage. “Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love” (Ecclesiastes 9:9). If you read the above paragraphs, you know that not enjoying life with your wife is not intended to be an excuse for an exit from the marriage. Rather it is a challenge issued to you. An opportunity. Are you going to get up and do whatever it takes, as far as it depends on you to enjoy your life with your wife? You have power. What are you going to do with it?

Stay content with your wife. Don’t go looking to be satisfied anywhere else. On specifically this subject the Bible says, “Drink water from your own cistern…may your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth….may you ever be captivated by her love” (Proverbs 5:15, 18, 19). (For those of you who find your eyes, mind, heart or body straying, please go read Proverbs 5. Now. Please. Read it twice. Meditate and linger over each and every verse of the entire chapter. And then pray harder than you've ever prayed before.)

Treasure and cherish your wife. She is a gift from God. “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22). Be a good steward of the gift you have been given. You know there's another word for favor...GRACE. Go home tonight, look at your wife, and remind yourself that it is God's grace that she is there at all.

Husbands, Love Your Wives.