I have a conundrum, and I've done my best to research it on Google, etc, but to no avail. This is a taxes question (note: has nothing to do with the current financial meltdown of everything - I've been wondering this for awhile).

First, a story, then my question, under the fold.

My Story: The first thing to know about me is that I'm brilliant. Here, let me demonstrate: all through the 90s, I worked for an Energy company. Right toward the end of the decade, just before energy really took off, I left the industry and became a computer geek consultant for a dot-com. You remember those, right? You might also remember that this is right about the time that all the dot-coms started melting down. So, with my normal prescient timing, I jumped the sinking dot-com ship and ran back to the Energy industry in 2001.

This was, of course, right before the colossal Enron crash and subsequent crash of the Energy industry.

In other words, I'm a genius. :-)

Finally, while at the dot-com I was presented with a stock certificate, worth a decent sum. Of course, and unbeknownst to me, that certificate was taxable as income, and I painfully paid taxes on it in 2001.

Now, my question (below the fold)

I've held that certificate for years, and have been issued other replacement certificates as the original company has been acquired by several other companies. The current certificate I own is essentially worthless.

I'd really like to take a capital loss on my 2008 taxes so I could get back some of the taxes I paid on it in 2001. The stock is listed on pinksheets.com, and is worth less than a penny. I only own (now, after several 100 to 1 share merges) around 800 shares. The company, as far as I can tell, doesn't really exist as a going concern, but still exists in some way.

I don't know the first thing about selling this stock certificate. I just want to unload it, collect my $1.50, and declare the loss on my taxes.

Anyone know how to do that? Let me know. I hate to bring this personal issue up in this public forum, but I don't really know where else to turn (although I guess I could go to a tax adviser . . . ) - and, plus, I know Thinklings readers are the most intelligent people on the blogosphere.

So, if you have any advice for me at all, please let me know. Leaving your answer or suggestion in the comments thread is fine, or you can email me at gatorade AT green DOT com, except replace gatorade with "bill" and green with "outofthebloo".

Thanks!