Someone recently asked me, "If God isn’t going to answer all of my prayers, does that mean that some of my prayers are wasted?"

It’s a legitimate question. Especially in light of James 4:3:

“When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”

The Bible makes it clear that when we pray, that we should pray for God’s will. But at the same time, we are commanded to pray for everything. “Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6). “Everything” is a pretty broad category. This tells me that no prayer is wasted. God wants us to ask for everything. Jesus said, “Ask and it will be given to you” (Matthew 7:7). Prayer does make a difference.

Jesus said,

"Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, 'Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.' Then the one inside answers, 'Don't bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed…’ yet because of the man's boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs. So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" (Luke 11:5-13).

Although we don’t always get what we want, we are promised to get what we need. Of course, the Christian also has something else. We have the real hope of the resurrection. Jesus actually died, and actually rose again and promises that we will too, and not just in a spiritual sense. Even if we “lose” in this life, we win in Christ. “Where O death is your victory? Where O death is your sting?” (I Corinthians 15:55).

When we cry out to Jesus as believers, God hears us as his children, and the Holy Spirit presents those prayers on our behalf, submitting them to God’s will. (Romans 8:26-27). Jesus himself earnestly prayed, “Take this cup from me.” Was that wasting his prayer, since it was God’s will that he die on the cross? I don’t think so. Part of relationship is honest communication. Prayer changes things. Perhaps most importantly, it changes us.