I think there is a great need for Christian counselors in the church. I'm just not thrilled by the profesionalization of the title. It's not a Biblical office. It's hard to argue for even a paid staff position. It's literally a job for every mature Christian.

I have greatly benefited from one-on-one Christian counseling and my wife has, too. It required a deep understanding of the issues at hand with a strong Biblical approach.

I grieve for people suffering from deep spiritual or emotional pain and their church's response is, "just get over it." If you've ever got inside the head or heart of someone who was physically or sexually abused as a child, you quickly realize how inadequate that "just get over it" mantra is -- and how damaging it can be. Frankly, that's what the world says about it. Is it Biblical to have the same message? If you ever want to feel utterly ill-equipped to minister, just try surface Biblical approaches to someone with bi-polar disorder.

The goal of every Christian counselor (at least in terms of common cultural ills) should be two-fold, IMO: (1) to get the person to recognize the need for forgiveness and to deliver it; (2) to get the person to ask for forgiveness for their own bitterness and hardened hearts. I believe God always delivers emotional healing on those grounds, at least in terms of those cultural ills I mentioned, specifically regarding abuse issues.

It becomes a problem when the counselor thinks they're the one doing the "fixing."

Oh this is a hot button issue for me. Thank you for addressing it. I once asked at church about "nouthetic" (Biblical) counseling and only one person knew what it was. His answer stunned me: "Yeah, yeah, um, well all that stuff does is just throw scripture at the problem. It doesn't really get to the root of things or help people work through the underlying causes." [i.e., as psychology does] Unreal.

Most Christian counseling is like the so-called "Christian pre-marital counseling" I got... another "workshop" about meshing our Meyers-Briggs temperment modalities together with as little conflict as possible. I wish the pastors would not slander Christians who "refuse to go to counseling" when in fact we're simply resisting psychology!

Strangely, or maybe not so strangely, the problems with Christian counselling parallel the problems with applying Christian theology to culture today. I have found Tim Keller, who is culturally savvy, also makes theological applications that are consistent with the solutions I have learned with input from someone outside the evangelical faith. That is, the questions that are actually being asked are being answered. For a lot of Christian Counselling, there is still an expectation of prior cultural knowledge and moral discipline that no longer exists.

Of course, that is not the only issue. The other things like lack of directive counselling and so on that Bob mentions are also problems rampant.

Well, as long as you have money in the mix, #1 on that list will be a problem. If you don't make people "feel good" by the end of the session, they might not come back. So wimp out to keep yourself in business. #2 is a problem, but not always with the counselor. People have always rejected sound counsel, all the way back to Adam & Eve. What is so hard about "don't eat this fruit"? Nothing - but people will be rebellious, no matter how tough, wimpy, sound, or crazy the advice. #3 is, well, pretty evident what the problem is there.

However, I don't think even most mature Christians would know how to deal with abuse. I do think that more mature Christians do need to step up and deal with some of the more common stuff in a Biblically correct way. But there is still stuff out there that the average Christian may not know how to handle. Like, Satanic ritual abuse. I knew some very mature pastors once that ministered to someone who had been through that. They are some of the most mature Christians I know - but they admitted they were over their heads and sought help. And they were glad they did.

I think a position on a church staff is a better idea. Technically, a custodian is not a Biblical office, but if a church is large enough they will still have at least one on staff because they need it. The church that I went to in Waco did have a staff counselor, and she was not wimpy or un-Biblical. She even had to go through all stages of Biblical discipline with people. And since her salary wasn't tied to people coming back to pay her, she was free to follow the Bible.

I'm hearing/assuming there are two main mistakes routinely made by Christian counselors, and they're both big ones.
The first is when untrained counselors fail to refer folks with serious pathological or psychological issues to trained medical professionals, overspiritualizing problems (abuse, addictions, depression, compulsions) that are spiritual but also require intensive care and often medication.

But the other error, and it's just as big I think, is when counselors psychobabbelize (new word I just made up :-) everything, Dr. Phil the problems to death and leave the Gospel (sin, grace, repentance, forgiveness, reconciliation) right on out of it. Christian counselors who underspiritualize their counsel ought to just call themselves life coaches or something.

As someone who has just witnessed bad counseling I’m a bit reluctant to recommend it. Christian’s can be the hardest ones to deal with. One told my friend to put herself back into the situation that made her want to kill herself in the first place after all they need to save the marriage. Forget that he had driven her to that point. She was to give up all support from friends so that he could be that for her. It’s a long story but after spending time in all of this NO THANK YOU! Those folks can really mess you up.

I’ll get my help the old fashion way. Bartender! I’ll have a MoonPie, an ice tea, and a good cigar then we can talk.

A big part of the problem is that counseling ministries are not connected to the pastoral oversight of the church directly (e.g., the board of elders). I think front-line counseling should be done by wise elders of the church, and from there appropriate referral should be made if necessary, either to in-house professional counselors or to a PhD or MD, but in each case with the oversight of the church. Whatever counseling is done has to be connected to the part of the church responsible for and ready to exercise discipline.

I think front-line counseling should be done by wise elders of the church

I'd like to actually meet those guys. The ones in the meeting I was sitting in weren't wise and I’d be darned if I'd allow them to have anything to do with my counseling. I also know a woman who claims to be a Christian counselor, no way no how would she ever get a referral from me. I’ve heard her talk about her patience and she’s made very harsh remarks about some of the issues that people go to her for.
I wonder if it’s safe in any church to go for help?

I'd like to actually meet those guys. The ones in the meeting I was sitting in weren't wise and I’d be darned if I'd allow them to have anything to do with my counseling.

I don't doubt you, but it's their responsibility, whether they're up for it or not. If the church has done a poor job selecting its elders, then there is no good workaround strategy. They are the heart of the church. If the heart's not pumping blood, letting the bladder have the job is not a viable backup plan.

I also know a woman who claims to be a Christian counselor, no way no how would she ever get a referral from me.

Well, we can't just throw out a concept because people mess it up. We would have to throw everything out, and never leave our house. People make mistakes. People do stupid things. People are just downright stupid. That's why someone needs a counselor in the first place. My brother went to a stupid goofy non-Christian counselor once when he was a teen.

After meeting with those men I was afraid for the future of the church and for the women in the church. After discussing how big they had messed things up one was not even close to being sorry. As for the others I’ll have to see. It was frightening to have this in my face by men that I had trusted. I realize they are human but they are suppose to be Christians and act like Christians.

Without a doubt counselors, Christian and non Christian, can mess things up. You have to be careful.

Good ones are out there.

Someone wise once told my husband and I that it usually takes three tries before the correct 'fit' is found.

I'm glad we were willing to hang in there, as that is how it worked out for us.

It's been six years, and his councel has proven to be sound.

Are we 'cured'? No. Are we following after Christ no matter what we 'feel' like? Yes. We limp, but we go on.