"Membership in the family of God is neither inconsequential or something to be casually ignored. The church is God's agenda for the world. Jesus said, "I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it." The church is indestructable and will exist for eternity. It will outlive this universe, and so will your role in it."
- Rick Warren
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
...but how does the poor zombie avoid being attacked? (Yes, this is a real news story. The link will not take you to the onion. :)
(10-25) 09:37 PDT Iowa City, Iowa (AP) --Nobody cares about the poor zombie anymore.
Iowa City police are investigating an early morning assault in which a man accused another of being a zombie, then punched him twice. Police said the assault occurred at 1:17 a.m. Sunday at an Iowa City restaurant south of the University of Iowa campus.
A man was ordering food when he was approached by another man who called him a zombie, then hit him in the eye. When the victim tried to call police on his cell phone, the man punched him again, breaking his nose.
The man then ran out a back door.
The victim was taken by ambulance to a hospital.
So could this be categorized as a hate crime?
Snicker...
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Comments on "I Know That Some Of You Want To Avoid Zombie Attacks...":
2. Wickle
- 10/27/2009 7:36 pm CDT
"Or he was just crazy."
Ummm ... I think we can be pretty safe in going with the "He's crazy" theory, whether he thought the guy was a zombie or not.
As a general rule, I don't think that zombies order foods in restaurants.
3. Milly
- 10/27/2009 8:09 pm CDT
As a general rule, I don't think that zombies order foods in restaurants
I don't know vampires have made a lot of changes in the last year. If they can I would think zombies can. Now the vampires are heroes. Come on zombie lovers stand up for your rotting undead.After all 2009 is about change.
5. Wickle
- 10/28/2009 3:43 pm CDT
"I don't know vampires have made a lot of changes in the last year. If they can I would think zombies can."
But vampires are intelligent! Zombies aren't. Zombies ordering in a restaurant would be like your goldfish doing so!
You know, if your goldfish was bipedal and wanted to eat living people.
6. Milly
- 10/28/2009 4:52 pm CDT
What is it with zombies and vampires when it comes to sunlight?
The new vampire can go out in the sunlight. They are called day walkers.
but couldn't they just use like really good sunblock?
I use sunblock and have trouble with the sun. I get sick and breakout in an itchy rash.
But vampires are intelligent! Zombies aren't. Zombies ordering in a restaurant would be like your goldfish doing so!
Then how do they ever catch anyone?
Do the people they catch have the brains that God gave a green bean?
Can catch a person with a brain and running can't order from Sonic. I don't understand that.
7. Wickle
- 10/28/2009 5:20 pm CDT
Can catch a person with a brain and running can't order from Sonic. I don't understand that.
For starters, I think it's verbal skills that will slow them down at Sonic. Come to think of it, though, it might be amusing to watch the zombie grunt at the drive-through kiosk, since neither is capable of comprehensible speech.
As for catching people, the humans tend to trip accidentally while running and looking backwards, I think. That or people run from one group of zombies and don't notice that they're running into another one.
I speak with authority because some quiz on Facebook said that I have a 90%+ chance of surviving a zombism outbreak. and what greater authority would you want than that?
12. Jared
- 10/29/2009 6:06 am CDT
The "I am Legend" creatures weren't zombies, though. I don't know what the book called them or remember what the movie called them, but they were more like rabid vampiric creatures. At least, I have heard they were originally that way in the book.
When "The Omega Man" came out with Charlton Heston, one of the first adaptations of the book, the creatures were more zombie-like.
And, yes, I have seen zombies in the daytime. Ever been to the Post Office or the DMV?
14. Bill
- 10/29/2009 7:17 am CDT
The "I am Legend" creatures weren't zombies, though. I don't know what the book called them
In the book they were vampires, but there was a scientific explanation for that (they became vampires due to a pandemic of sorts). The scientific explanation was pretty tortured, actually, trying to explain how they could live after being shot, etc.
17. Milly
- 10/30/2009 4:36 am CDT
Wow Jared thanks for the PSA on zombies. Clearly they are misunderstood by most of us.
If they can fight sharks then they can order from Sonic.
20. Paul W.
- 10/30/2009 4:48 pm CDT
Yeah, I have very little will-power when it comes to a snickers candy bar, I definitely go into a zombie like trance when eating one. Don't try to saddle me with a fun-size either, give me the king-size. What's fun about teasing people with a one bite size, it's torture I say.
21. Milly
- 10/30/2009 8:57 pm CDT
Paul,
Everyone knows that 10 bite size candy bars equal one average size.
Eat on my zombie friend. . . eat on.
Leave a Comment:
In all seriousness, if the attacker was crazy enough to mistake the poor victim for being a zombie, we should be grateful he didn't shoot him in the head or try to stab his brain somehow. Anybody who keeps up with zombie lore knows punching one in the face will accomplish nothing.
So either the guy is not as familiar with zombies as he thinks he is, or he didn't really think the guy was a zombie.
Or he was just crazy.