"Membership in the family of God is neither inconsequential or something to be casually ignored. The church is God's agenda for the world. Jesus said, "I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it." The church is indestructable and will exist for eternity. It will outlive this universe, and so will your role in it."
- Rick Warren
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Got this game from Marla.
Type "[your first name] needs" into Google's search engine and list the first ten results. Nearly all will be amusing, but you're supposed to underline the ones that are actually true about you.
Here are my results. (I didn't underline anything, because all but the first one are true in one way or another.)
1. Jared needs a room in Anaheim Friday and Saturday nights.
2. Jared needs a punch in the face.
3. Jared needs to do something newsworthy!
(Not sure if I should underline that one or not. ;-)
4. Jared needs to learn something new.
5. Jared needs to lay the smack down on these guys.
6. jared needs to be unbanned.
(I'm not sure what I'm banned from, but I do appreciate free reign.)
7. Jared needs to stop making the critical mistakes which have haunted him and to learn to use the ball better.
(I probably ought to bold the first part of that sentence.)
8. Lyrically, Jared needs to grow.
(Yes, I do. And don't call me Lyrically.)
9. Jared needs to get to bed.
10. Jared definitely needs a lot more crotch room than you do.
(Um . . .)
Trackbacks:
Trackback URL: http://thinklings.org/bloo.trackback.php/2593.
1. JOLLYBLOGGER
- 10/18/2005 1:23 pm CDT
What Do I Need? Funnest and funniest meme I have seen in awhile. I got this from Jared at the Thinklings and he got it from Marla at Always Thirsty. BTW, personal note to both - Jared - congrats on the new book, for
Comments on "Jared Definitely Needs to Lay the Smack Down on these Guys: A Meme":
2. gina
- 10/18/2005 3:50 am CDT
I am sitting at my desk at work and its all I can do not to laugh out loud. This is too funny!
4. Daniel
- 10/18/2005 4:12 am CDT
1. The car Daniel needs.
2. Daniel needs some advice on being sued by a buyer.
3. Daniel needs time and understanding that he has many feelings of grief, loss, and abandonment.
4. Daniel needs eligibility for AT&T benefits.
5. Daniel needs someone to brush his teeth for him each night just before he is put to bed. (wouldn't that be nice) ;-)
6. Daniel needs a permanent family to call home!
7. Daniel needs his glasses. (YES, I DO!)
8. Daniel needs a world of parents.
9. Daniel needs someone to help him to determine whether the decisions being made on his behalf by "professionals" are in his best interests.
10. Daniel needs a helping hand to get that basket!
Geez, all of mine seem to be about being abandoned or some such thing.
5. blestwithsons
- 10/18/2005 4:38 am CDT
well... my name is a closely guarded secret, of course. But here...
_____ needs a cold shower (none of your business)
_____ needs a smack daddy. (?!)
______ needs a tutor (in organizational skills, yes)
______ needs space (hm)
______ needs to do five things (more like five HUNDRED)
______ needs this diva publicity like she needs a hole in the head (hee hee hee)
______ needs to keep on improving (don't we all?)
______ needs help (um - yes)
______ needs heavy visual depiction of her subject (um, okay)
______ needs the earth energy in her life to learn how to ground and be more practical. (whatever)
6. Raindream
- 10/18/2005 4:57 am CDT
oh, what silliness. I posted a list on my blog, but I had to work with the search results some. I didn't turn up a clean list of what Phil needs. Maybe I should have searched for Jo Mama's needs instead.
7. Radiodad
- 10/18/2005 6:00 am CDT
My name isn't really all that secret, so here ya go...
1. Don needs our help.
2. Don needs our help. (I'm sensing a pattern here.)
3. Uncle Don needs you! (See what I mean?)
4. Hey, Dawg, Don needs one of these! (A life, I'm thinking.)
5. Don needs to recognize that a variable mortgage will usually have a lower rate than a fixed one.
6. The Don needs to fire his barber.
7. This is what Don needs to get for his girlfriend! (First, I need to get a girlfriend. And that's not likely to happen anytime soon.)
8. Don needs a loan but doesn't want to cash in his Certificate of Deposit.
9. Big Don needs an outhouse (no comment)
10. Don needs underlings (send your resumes in now!)
8. Kevin
- 10/18/2005 6:14 am CDT
I usually don't do these, but I was amazed at how well Google knows me. I think Radiodad will feel a little better about his responses now. (In keeping with BWS' standard, I will hide my first name.)
______ needs to go to He11. - Deserves to, but won't. ______ needs therapy.
Please help ______. Click to find out how. ______ needs your help ... ______ Needs
Your Help!
______ Needs JS Help
______ needs to be locked up. I'm betting he will go on a rampage again.
Mac needs to go away again and ______ needs to go to he11
______ needs expert witnesses, research, and other things
Right now, ______ needs someone who is active in church
______ needs our help. Not only can he not ride his moped ...
______ needs to address the issues themselves, rather than making the knee jerk...
______ needs a guest blogger.
10. Jared
- 10/18/2005 6:32 am CDT
Heh. I decided to try "Jared wants" this time. Results:
1. Jared wants to secure a position as an insurance agent.
2. Jared wants people to stop thinking its funny that he's Canadian.
3. Jared wants Continuing Education on Shelter training from Red Cross perhaps inJune 2005.
4. Jared wants everyone to have AIDS.
5. Jared wants to do 27 things
6. Jared wants your blood!!
7. Jared wants only to disappear . . .
8. Jared wants to be just like his father when he grows up.
9. Jared wants to go to Steamboat Springs, Colorado!
10. Jared wants to search for the missing ship and make history, but Bryce prefers to cash in the drugs and get rich quick.
That stupid Bryce.
Not near as funny as "Jared needs," but thankfully they stayed clear of my crotchal region.
11. Jeremy
- 10/18/2005 6:58 am CDT
Jeremy needs a committed family able to give him the attention, affection, and firm but kind discipline.
When Jeremy needs answers to questions he usually visits his local library.
Ron Jeremy needs your help!
Jeremy needs me To wipe off his eye.
Jeremy needs a family that can give him a lot of individual attention.
Jeremy needs the money...
Jeremy needs to be "in controll" of the show- he sorta got shouted out sometimes.
Jeremy needs to get out of the reception fast but John wants more time with Claire.
They are also unresponsive towards Jeremy's needs, justifying their rules with the dismissive "because I say so."
Jeremy needs to be more like his peers.
12. Raindream
- 10/18/2005 6:58 am CDT
Man, looks as if Kevin needs a friend. Jared, you should pursue that insurance position. I think that's your ticket. A lot easier than searching for missing ships.
I occurs to me that more wisdom abounds on the topic. For example, Someone needs . . .
to crack the whip.
to have a word with Amis.
to explain this to me.
a New Catch Phrase.
Someone needs . . .
to stop him.
to ask Pat if he thinks God killed Rehnquist.
to pay.
our help.
to get a life.
to be shot.
to work on di for m68k if you want it in sarge.
That just says it all, doesn't it.
13. gina
- 10/18/2005 7:22 am CDT
Here is mine:
1. Gina needs a makeover
2. Gina needs a severe reprimand for doing what she did. (I don't know what I did, but it sounds serious!)
3. Gina needs a makeover (I'm noticing a pattern here...)
4. Gina needs to listen
5. Gina needs to be able to reach out to him, rather than have him initiating.
6. Gina needs a makeover (What exactly are they trying to say?)
7. Gina needs version 2.10 (Isn't version 2.10 so 1995?)
8. Gina needs your help!
9. Gina needs to do her job
10. Gina needs someone to talk girl talk to.
14. Shrode
- 10/18/2005 7:58 am CDT
My name is Phil. The top ten results for "Phil needs" include two other blogwriters with the name Phil who played this same game. :) Nevertheless, the results were quite good...
PHIL NEEDS JESUS-HE NEEDS THE TOUCH OF THE MASTERS HAND!! PHIL NEEDS THE NEW BIRTH-HE NEEDS NEW LIFE IN CHRIST JESUS!!! PLEASE ENCOURAGE EVERY ONE TO PRAY ...
Saint Phil Needs A Blog
Quite Frankly, Phil Needs A New Act.
Phil needs our prayers
Phil needs his beauty sleep
Phil needs your help today to fight the Schwarzenegger fundraising machine!
If Phil needs more assistance, he should go to the Reference Desk. ... Phil needs
to follow throgh on his search stragety
Phil needs a new membership list from the secretary.
"Phil needs a new mic ASAP".
15. Brian in Fresno
- 10/18/2005 8:14 am CDT
I just realized that we haven't met Brian's needs yet. I have needs, man!
Brian needs assistance It's about time someone realized this!
Brian needs food, badly. Ah, not THAT badly, I NEED a weight loss diet
"Brian needs to communicate more effectively and stop being negative. Ok, ok, I'll try to.
Brian-Needs-the-Money Always!
Brian needs a fix. Don't know about this
Justin thinks Brian needs to grow down. Huh?!
Brian needs to combine two or more site links to create How 'bout I just combine pizzas instead?
Brian needs prayers to help him rid himself of anger issues I'm not the angry young man I was was as I'm old now. But I'll always take more prayer!
Brian needs to add it. Good thing it wasn't division, add I can do!
16. Darren
- 10/18/2005 10:16 am CDT
Hi-frickin-larious. This has to be the only blog post I've ever read that's made me laugh out loud no fewer than three times.
1) Darren needs a hobby
I have too many as it is, actually.
2) Darren needs a shave; a woman; a life; to get off his Big New York Ass
...
3) Darren needs someone to chat to
or with.
4) 'Soft' Darren needs SAS training
Who you callin' soft?
5) The new beginning Darren needs in his life won't be found with more will power and a New Year's resolution.
This is what the doctrine of total depravity teaches us, right?
6) Most of all, Darren needs parents who will enjoy his many attractive qualities while being realistic about his limitations.
And how!
7) I think what Darren needs to do is visit the British Judo Association website and look under the technical section for promotions and grading.
8) I was so depressed. So when she says Darren needs help I cringe. He goes to the bar every night. They pawn off the kids every weekend.
I prefer the term "loan out."
9) Can't understand though why such a supposedly bright ace like Darren needs to burrow in with setups like Bright's to do his tricks.
I don't know what this means.
10) Darren needs windows that can take a licking and keep on ticking.
And for good measure ...
11) Evar gets kidnaped by the vampire and Darren needs to risk his life and others to save a friend he needs most.
Yeah!!
14) With the demands of his busy and varied job, Darren needs an alert, energetic Guide Dog. His dog Kalan is comfortable in stressful environments and loves their busy life, yet he can also wait patiently for Darren over many hours.
I'm renaming him Krypto, incidentally.
17. Manders
- 10/18/2005 1:33 pm CDT
(Manders is a strange form of Amanda, for those not in the know.)
Amanda needs operator disk ownership.
Amanda needs to be loved
Amanda needs a small config change
Amanda needs a local food bank to put food on the table for herself and her daughter
Amanda needs to be rebuilt
Amanda needs gnutar [what the heck is gnutar?]
Amanda needs a mom in her corner with lots of time and attention to give to her
Amanda needs X11?
Amanda needs to be recompiled on landon [?!]
Amanda needs a serious love interest or must get involved in a serious journalistic story. [ha!]
18. Marla
- 10/18/2005 5:47 pm CDT
Jared, thank you for being the most loyal reader of my non-blog. I think you've linked my non-blogging posts at least three times in the past week :) ...just for that, I'll see your Jared wants, and raise you a word:
Marla must have been hit by a stray cartridge fired into the air by a New Year's Eve reveler
Marla must have been like 4 yrs old.
Marla must have worked her magic, he realised.
Marla must have been more than just a peace negotiator, she must have been the ruler of a level
Marla must have been dropped into the pit(money pit) or
something like that.
I should make a whole blog devoted to Google memes to keep with my non-blogging theme.
19. Scott
- 10/19/2005 8:36 am CDT
Scott needs Mozilla
Scott NEEDS Nude Models (emphasis NOT mine)
Scott needs to ask himself how he would have
handled
Whatever his issues, Scott needs to get over them (can I get an AMEN!!!)
Scott needs a partner
Scott needs more of Mike's guitar
Scott needs to hire his own man on the bench
Scott needs help with grease traps
Ummm . . . HILARIOUS.
For those who don't know me, my real fake name is Randy. So . . . here goes:
1. Randy needs help from Raider mates
2. Randy needs a loving and committed family to give him a sense of belonging. (But I would argue that I already have that.
3. Randy needs to list every skill he used in each of his jobs
4. Randy Needs a Sponsor!
5. Randy needs to write a song about the "search for weapons of mass destrucion". (I'm not even kidding)
6. Randy needs to finally tie the knot with "Mimi,"
7. Randy needs to fight wandy now and dana needs
to authorize randy to go to japan.
8. Randy needs to do this, Randy needs to do that,' and I'm saying, 'Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am.'
9. Randy needs someone like The Taker to put him in his place once and for all.
10. Randy needs to call [the negotiation committee] back to set up a time
Awesome Jared. hilarious.