- Ulysses Everett McGill
The Rules: Click comments and add one sentence of your own. You can only write one sentence at a time. Add as many as you like, just never right after yourself.
I'll start:
Slim had never before seen a creature look so angry.
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"It's all yours now, Dad," Amanda yelled back, keeping her distance.
Holding the basilisk, he wondered why he'd ever allowed himself to take that PetSmart employee up on the whole "once-in-a-lifetime-after-Christmas sale" in the first place.
Oh, well, he might as well stop fretting about it, especially since he long ago ran out of dead ferrets to feed the basilisk and therefore had more important things to be concerned with at the moment.
"Well, now isn't that just GRAND!" said the cab driver, who had been standing in the corner watching all of this happen, but who could no longer stand idly by.
The cab driver walked up to him, saying "What'd you do to make that thing hotter than the sun in a frying pan?";"0
"Ancient Chinese Secret (tm)" said Slim, who had just finished telling himself that he had to do his laundry when - if - he got home.
Father and daughter climbed back into the cab after another failed attempt to release basilisk into the wild.
His whereabouts might be ferreted out of the basilisk, given time, or he may have been frozen by that baleful gaze and been covered in blizzard-borne depths of winter wonderland.
They heard a faint, gurgling sound, coming from somewhere behind the car.
The wrinkling of the basilisk’s nose and subsequent odor told its own tale.
Meanwhile, the cake in the oven combusted, which was just as well, having long charred past edible, leaving Slim in the lurch for that aspect of his crazy sister's birthday party.
And he knew the kind of trouble that could cause -- last year, Slim's crazy sister had asked for a chocolate cake; the coconut frosting had led to the undoing of several distaff cousins that no one really missed very much.
One of those rumored yet seldom encountered sewer alligators lumbered along to investigate the proceedings, only to have a feral alley cat sneakily attack his tongue.
"Cool." said Slim's daughter, although she just said it to get her mind off of the strange situation unfolding before her.
Slim checked his watch - seventeen minutes until his sister's party, and still without a cake.
"Relax dad, there's a bakery," said Amanda, pointing down the street a ways.
"We can get a cake and buy a used Gloc 9mm as a birthday gift for crazy Aunt Bertrice," exclaimed Amanda
"Well, as you recall, I retired from the French Foreign Legion last month, so this seemed like the natural thing to do." replied Bertrice, haughtily.
"Well, do you get an employee discount on baked goods?" asked Amanda.
"Hmmm. But replace 'baked goods' with 'sushi' and 'Jacques Cousteau' with 'Steve Zissou,' and I'll have a winner on my hands," he thought, as the basilisk began to violently vomit.
Just then, Steve realized with growing horror that the Basilisk had just eaten both Amanda and Beatrice.
Jared, observing impartially, declared in dismay "no, no, no... let him eat cake!";"0
Steve fished his slightly digested female relatives from the Basilisk's vomit and ran into the shop to retrieve a sufficient quantity of cake to sate its hunger

The little hairs stood up on the back of his neck in fear.