You know, they try this staggered enrollment thing so parents and kids won't be overwhelmed with the start of kindergarten. But I just don't know if they could help it.
I took Macy to school for the very first time today. This week she will go Monday and Wednesday, just for half-days, and just with the girls in her class. (Boys go Tuesday and Thursday.) Then they all start going all day, all week, next Monday.
I'm a little irked at the disorganization of the whole process. First of all, I took her to a screening last week, I guess so they could figure out which class she should go in and all that. (I could have told them "The Smart Class," but I guess they still have to test the kids anyway. ;-) The paperwork given to me then included instructions for picking her up this week, but gave absolutely zero information for dropping them off, which if anyone had any sense, they'd know the dropping your kid off for school for the first time ever would be the tricky part. I didn't even know what time school started until I asked somebody.
So this morning at 8:20 I take Macy, Grace in tow, to the school. We go to the kindergarten wing, only to see there are no signs or teachers present to tell us where to go. I wander through the whole place until reaching the front, where I finally say to a lady, "She starts kindergarten today. Where should we go?"
"Oh to the gym," she says. And then she actually takes Macy's hand and says "Come with me, sweetie."
I was, like, "Um, no, it's not going to work that way."
I guess she was just going to wisk my child away and assume neither one of us cared about something like, oh I don't know, a goodbye smooch and hug and some parting words of comfort.
I followed this lady taking Macy to the gym, and I can't imagine how it must have looked to Macy. It was overwhelming to me. Full of kids and parents. Very loud. Very chaotic. The kids were organized in lines according to grades, but the place still did not look peaceful or orderly. The lady took Macy all the way to the end of the line across from Gracie and I and sat her down.
Macy started to cry. I couldn't hear her over the din, but I could see her saying "I want my daddy."
I told Grace to stay put and ran to Macy, beginning to cry myself.
How dare these idiots do this to little kids and to parents going through this for the first time. Like I was just going to show up and drop my kid off like it was nothing. Maybe other parents who've been doing the daycare/preschool thing for years didn't care, but I've atesleptbreathed my girls from the days they were born, and this was the first day I've trusted the day's care of Macy to anyone else.
I knelt down by her and took her face in my hands. I said, "I'm right here, sweetie. It's okay. I'm going to be right over there by the wall sitting with Grace, and when it's time for you to go to your class, I'm going to walk with you the whole way and go into your class with you and you're going to get a smooch and a hug before we have to leave." (She's really BIG on getting a smooch and hug before parting ways.)
At that point, I had no idea whether it was "okay" for me to do what I told Macy I was going to do, but I was going to do it anyway. Mere seconds later, a teacher (or somebody) confirmed that parents would accompany the kids to their rooms.
I know the procedure they had set up probably had some sense behind it. They want kids to get used to how lining up and waiting and going to class works. But communicating it to parents so that parents and children could be prepared for this process would have been a great idea.
So the bell rings and the line rises and Grace and I walk right next to Macy as she passes and walk side by side with her as she trails through the halls to her class.
She was excited to see that the first order of business was making Fruit Loop necklaces and that Play-Doh awaited. Grace was hacked off she didn't get to join in.
The teacher gave parents a "Survival Kit," which was a Ziploc baggie with a tissue, a teabag, a Hershey's kiss, and a kind note. I liked the note the best, but I would have traded the whole thing for a solid head's up on just what the morning would have entailed. It might have spared both of us some of the emotions.
Once Macy was seated and ready to "work," she acted like she couldn't care less I was about to leave. She's Macy that way. ;-)
"Bye Dad," she said cheerily. She's been looking forward to going to school for months.
I gave her a smooch and a hug and told her I'd be back to get her soon, and I left with Grace and fresh tears in my eyes.
Macy has this idea she's going to ride the bus. Dada has this idea that she is not. At least not for a while. ;-)
When I picked her up at noon, she was all smiles and so excited about her totebag and her "take home folder." She had a great time, and she asked me when she could go back.
"You'll do the same thing Wednesday," I said. "And then next week, you'll go every day, all day. You ready for that."
"You're crazy, dad!" she said, meaning Of course, silly!
Ugh. They grow up too fast, don't they?
It'll be a new "era" for Grace too. Her sissy had Dada all to herself until she was born. Now she'll get the Dada Alone experience too. I think it will be a neat time for both of us.
- Charles Spurgeon
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How dare these idiots do this to little kids and to parents going through this for the first time. Like I was just going to show up and drop my kid off like it was nothing. Maybe other parents who’ve been doing the daycare/preschool thing for years didn’t care, but I’ve atesleptbreathed my girls from the days they were born, and this was the first day I’ve trusted the day’s care of Macy to anyone else.
What I find nuts is the expectation that a single person is going to provide tailor-made education to 30 or so kids in a politically correct and "values neutral" environment when, in many cases, they don't have kids of their own. And then people look at me like I have three heads when I advocate homeschooling.
But, enough of my rants. Very cute story. I can still remember my first day of kindegarden in 1989...
Ugh.
David, I know you mean well, and no offense intended, but I just knew someone was gonna chime in with the whole homeschooling thing, which of course does not help me one bit and only makes me feel like a bad parent on a day I really do not need to hear how terrible it is that my family chooses to use the public school system.
So, anyways -- thanks. But, please, be sensitive next time.
Btw, her class consists of about 16, not 30. Our town is small, countrified, rural with conservative values and lots of small-church folk. They hate the whole p.c. thing as much as you or I.
I don't look at homeschoolers in any negative light, so I don't appreciate the insinuation that this public schooler is "nuts."
Sorry for that rant; but today I just did not need an insenstive comment like that.
i probably didn't need to read that today. i just found out this morning that my 3-yr-old has been accepted to a pre-k program a few blocks from our home (we live in d.c.), and she starts going full time next week. i've only been a stay@home dad for a few weeks since my wife got a job, but i'm already terrified (a) for her being away from home, and (b) even more for me having her be away from home. anyway, i know she'll probably send me on my way, too, when she gets down to her "work," but i was hoping not to have to leave her @ any educational institution until she got into notre dame in about 15 more years.
good luck, man.
My apologies. I'm not the whole concept as a blanket solution. Public schools do vary quite a bit from region to region, so if your comfortable with that the school she goes to, that's cool. I'm a product of the public school system and some of the most influnetial people in my life were my teachers.
And you're not a bad parent. That's obvious!
Sorry about that.
David:
Just ask Jared about self-publishing. That oughta patch things up.
j/k
I just want it on record that it wasn't ME. And it wasn't going to be me! So there.
Glad she settled in so quickly. I tried to leave my kindergarten and walk home!
Oh do I remember those days. And of course I'm crying just reading this story about you leaving your first one at school. Hate to tell you this, but it didn't get any easier when we left Jeremy at college.;) But trust me, she will have so much fun at school that it will make it easier on you.
thanks for sharing this jared. i actually started teaching a class of 22 kindergarteners two weeks ago, so it's nice to hear about the view from the other side. it's a little overwhelming at times for all involved. especially when you're one of those teachers whose expected to provide 'tailor-made education' to a large class and have no children of your own. ;)
anywho, i hope macy has a wonderful experience in school.
Jared I almost cried reading that. It is so hard to watch them grow up. I remember when mine were born that I couldn't even fathom the idea of kindergarten starting....and then there it was before I knew it. We did Kinder. every Monday/Wednesday and alternate Fridays...but now all of the Kinder. programs have to be all day everyday. It is alot to expect out of 5 year olds. It is nice that she is in a smaller class. Be grateful for that. Last year my son had 32 kids in his 1st grade class and most of the kids had parents who cared less. Our school actually had to send warnings because parents kept not showing up to pick up their kids afterschool. I always like to hear about dad's being involved with their daughters...especially since I see mostly girls who had absent fathers at the pregnancy center.
There definitely could be an improvement in communication! Especially for first time parents and students! Holy cow that sounds be a frightening experience. I am glad that didn't taint the rest of the day for her. Our school has an open house separate from the rest of the school for Kindergarten families. They can meet the teacher, look at the room and then the teacher tells the parents and students what the average day will be like. They tour the building and go over procedures, etc. Sadly, this year (unlike past years) the Kindergarten open house wasn't attended very well. Maybe we have mostly parents who have done the Kindergarten thing and didn't feel they needed the open house.
I hope that Macy continues to enjoy her Kindergarten experience.
Oh as a teacher myself I would like to thank David for his encouraging words as well. Obviously I would have no clue what to do with kids since I don't have one at home. Count to 10 Christopher...
Hey, no gangin' up on me :-)
I've had teachers who didn't try, others were mean, some who were mediocre, and still others I probably just rubbed the wrong way. But I've also had passionate, patient, and kind teachers who cared for my welfare. I've been in poor schools (LA Unified School District; we had our own drive by shooting drills...), well-funded schools (the ones up here in MN are practically the Ritz Carlton), and private ones. So, from the viewpoint of the student, I have a fairly varied perspective.
The one thing I think is a constant is that the one on one attention that any parent would think to be an ideal for their child is pretty much impossible, short of special education or tutoring under special circumstances. In that light, my original words can be seen as much as a condemnation of parents who place unrealistic on teachers to deliver an experience that the parents themselves should do in supplement to their child's education.
It was in grade school where I had teachers who truly shaped me and where I had received significant tutoring to overcome my learning disabilities. But it was also a place where I've seen the effects of politics, where money was sucked up by bureaucracy and what nice things we did have were paid for by the PTA and teachers, who were parents and grandparents themselves. A place where kids discussed their favorite gangs as often as their favorite sports teams.
But again, my experience is varied. My experience at that school is not going to determine you or your child's experience at her's.
And yes, I have had plenty of young and childless teachers, especially after I got to Minnesota. Take hat I said as a broad generality with plenty of exceptions.
Man i dread this day in two years. we've already felt the 'why is she (3 years old, mind you) not in preschool?'
gasp, horror, we want her to be 3.
Jared:
Long time no talkie, eh? For what it is worth, I know what you're going through. I agree: It is never easy. Ian starts 2nd grade tomorrow, and 7:15 tomorrow morning is not going to be any easier than last year at this time was. He's certainly brimming with excitement about it, but each day that he steps onto that bus is one day closer to leaving the innocence of childhood behind. That thought hurts me so much that I am quite often brought to tears. He's my oldest son - how am I going to react when my (now 5 month old) daughter starts school?
I realize that the pixels on your computer screen that are forming these words are scant consolation to you, Jared, but it appears as though you handled it admirably. Take heart, man: I can honestly say that, despite the fact that I've never met you face to face, I consider you a better father than some of the fathers that I know and have known for years.
Chin up, man. We love you!
My children never shed a tear. I did. My Miss Littles just started first grade in a large public school system that has a huge amount to offer in education. Join the PTA and be involved it’s a great way to be able to hang out at the school and know what’s going on. Some teachers have wonderful opportunities like reading to the children, chess clubs, and so on.
I’m sorry that they made it hard for the first day. I hear the survival bags are cool a friend called and told me about hers I cried over her little girl going to school. How is it possible that it happens so quickly? God bless ya.
Try watching your 2 foot tall baby climb aboard a 38 foot tall school bus. The door opens and the first step seems to be about at her armpit.
[Gulp.]
You smile and wave as she, and her back pack that goes down to her knees, climbs aboard the bus and takes her seat, peeking over the window like Kilroy and waving back.
Wednesday she catches a different bus at 6:52 AM to 6th grade. No more 'safe' elementary school, now it's Jr. High. At least here the 6th graders are in their own school apart from the 7th & 8th grade.
I feel that lump in my throat again.
Our oldest starts school tomorrow.
Jared, I'm glad you wrote of your experience. Thank you. Our school did the reverse. They've explained drop off procedures quite well. It's the picking up part they haven't told us about. :)
Apparently what we do is take the kids to the gym, where the PE teacher will do activities JUST WITH THE KINDERGARTNERS. I'm hoping it's nowhere near as chaotic an experience as yours was... While the kids are playing the parents go to the classroom with the teacher for "orientation". Then I guess our kids come to us? I dunno. Then we get to tell them bye in their classroom.
We had a meet n greet last thursday night, so Joel has already met his teacher and found his desk with his name on it. He thought that was pretty cool...
It's so cool that you men love those little ones so much. My husband has really been into every moment of our Miss Littles first days, he kept telling me “You can walk her in for a few days†“Did you walk her in?†She was walked to class the first day, she asked me not to do it again. I stopped as requested. You guys are good Dads.
Jared,
I actually wondered when Macy would be going through this just the other day. Sorry it was difficult. We did it with Carson last year. We actually had a really good experience and are in a school district we are proud of.
One bit of encouragement. Carson was half-day last year, all year. He loved it and like Macy, had been waiting for school to start. This year however, it has been another adjustment to going all day. Anna just left to take him and he was a little whiny saying "Seven hours is just to long." So, at least you won't have to make that transition next year.
I hope you will send the school principal (and maybe the Superintendent?) a copy of your post. When I was teaching, my public school did a better job of welcoming the sixth graders than your school did with the kindergarteners! There is really no excuse for this. It could be that the administrators are incompetent, but I would like to think it's only because they have forgotten what it's like for these little ones (and their parents!) Maybe a reminder is just what they need to make next year better.
If you really want to make it better, volunteer to start a parent committee to set up the first day of school next year. ;-)
All I can say is start planning her graduation open house now. These next 13 years will fly by so quickly it will astond you.
I cried when my youngest went to kindergarten, and I went home to an empty house.
At 22, he is still here. Now I cry for different reasons...
The night before I started kindergarten, my Mom gave birth to my younger sister in a different town, so neither parent was able to send me off for my first day of school. A babysitter waved me onto the bus from the front door. It was traumatic and I didn't even cry at the time, but we both made up for that when Mom came home from the hospital.
I feel for you with the whole lack of pertinent information thing, but you should feel pretty good about the whole odd-schedule-to-break-them-in thing. Some of us are not so lucky. Last year when my son started Kindergarten, I wanted him to go half days for a while (and not ride the K-12 grade bus!), but we only had one vehicle. So he went from being home with me 24/7, no day care, preschool activities at home, etc., to on the bus at 7:10 a.m., all day at school and another 45 minutes on the bus home around 3:55.
This child still napped every day for nearly two hours and doesn't play well with others. HELLO! Needless to say, he had problems adjusting. A lot of problems adjusting.
I just wanted to scream at his teacher, the principle, the bus driver, and my husband, "I told you he needed a slower introduction to school. It's too much all at once! And stop stomping on his mustard sprout!" (of faith)
Jared:
Wait until you walk Macy down the isle and give her to the guy who says, "I will love her"...
Enjoy each step of the way until that day...
It will come.
I hope school is going well now that the year is progressing. The main reason I'm commenting, however, is to suggest that you print a copy of your post and keep it to share with Macy when she is grown. Blessed is the daughter who has a godly, loving father. I only had Daddy for 17 years before he died but he loved us dearly and established a solid foundation for our faith in God through his love and trustworthiness.
Whoa. Cool story.
Kids are quite the experience . . .