"Membership in the family of God is neither inconsequential or something to be casually ignored. The church is God's agenda for the world. Jesus said, "I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it." The church is indestructable and will exist for eternity. It will outlive this universe, and so will your role in it."
- Rick Warren
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Thomas. You are not from New England, but you are of it preternaturally, born of primeval Americana. It suits you so perfectly, it is you so perfectly. With your golden grin and Tom Sawyer locks, you are matched for fields of lush Narnian grass. You are football's last superhero, American sports' last mythic figure. You are Joe DiMaggio and Bazooka Joe and Spartacus rolled into one, standing head and shoulders above lesser gladiators, brutish oxen, preening showboats, and loutish manboys, you the boy-man, deceptively awkward off-season in jorts on a dad-bike, laying low, calculating in your Terminator brain surpassing domination to come on the field of glory. You are tricksy, preciouss.
Has red, white, and blue armor ever more befitted an athlete? Most Venerated Player, Super Bowl general, record destroyer, field commander, laser-gunner. Interceptions? What are those? They are for people whose passes don't obey. But you are the pigskin's boss. You are the quarterback who does his job; everyone else is the other guy.
Your peers recently voted you the best player in the NFL. They are making an offering to you, their priest and overlord, acknowledging your brilliant benevolence in sharing the battlefield with them, "Thank you, sir, may we have another?"-ing your intention to bless them with a future "I got smoked by the best there ever was" story. Do you ride to Foxborough via the River Styx? Do you ride in a cloud? A chariot pulled by winged Pegasuses?
You hold records like Atlas holds the globe, spinning metal plates and juggling multitudinous awesomenesses while you wink at your wife -- a Brazilian supermodel? holla, sir -- and it will all come crashing down the day -- far in the future, please, good sir -- you announce football has outlived its usefulness to you.
Brilliant, beaming, bionic. Brady. Godspeed the negotiations to discard this lockout business. Training camp looms. Then opening day, when our Deus ex Bradychina shall descend once more, bringing football's rebirth with him for yet another year, and conquer.
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Comments on "Ode to Tom Brady":
3. Jared
- 07/16/2011 1:30 pm CDT
I contend that he's not even a Peyton Manning.
Bill, because we are friends, you can be sure this won't be grounds for your harm when Tom becomes America's benevolent dictator.
But Roger Staubach? Really?
I *might* grant the Montana argument. But if Brady is not the best ever, he is only 2nd to that man. By a hair.
And almost entirely seriously, I do think Brady is the last "mythic" football player. (Jordan was last in basketball, I think.)
4. Jeff
- 07/16/2011 1:54 pm CDT
Comparing Brady to Staubach would be difficult, since they played in much different eras. Staubach played in the "dead ball" era of the NFL, during the 1970s, when it was much more difficult to pass effectively. Back in the 1970s, defensive linemen beat up QBs, and defensive backs abused WRs during the entire play. Now offensive lineman can get away with holding, QBs can only be hit between the knees and shoulder pads, and WRs can't be touched at all after 5 yards. Brady may have been too slow and weak to survive in the 1970s NFL.
Staubach was a much better runner than Brady, and probably had a stronger arm. Except for the 2007 season, Brady has thrown mostly short passes and dump-offs. Brady is more the product of his system, while Staubach always rebelled against his system (Tom Laundry hated it when Staubach audibled). Staubach's most impressive performance was in 1975, when his team had no good RBs and only one reliable WR, and he led that team to the Super Bowl and nearly beat a great Steelers team.
Staubach's career legacy is hurt by the fact that he had a relatively short career. He served 4 years in the Navy, and he retired while he was still in his prime, because of concussions. For this reason, Staubach was a starter for only 7.5 seasons. But during those 7.5 seasons, Staubach led the league in passer rating 4 times and led his team to the Super Bowl 4 times. Brady has already been a starter for 9 seasons, and probably has 5 left. So he will have a longer career than Staubach.
5. Bill
- 07/16/2011 2:54 pm CDT
I do think Brady is the last "mythic" football player.
Of course you do :-)
Comparing him to Jordan is over the top. Even Jordan's detractors consider him the best basketball player of all time. Brady doesn't even have consensus as the best football player of his era (although he is right up there, certainly).
There was no one who approached Jordan the way that certain players today (Manning, for instance) compete with Brady for "best".
Plus, wasn't it the lesser Manning who torched Brady in the Superbowl?
11. Bird
- 07/16/2011 6:05 pm CDT
Comparing him to Jordan is over the top. Even Jordan's detractors consider him the best basketball player of all time. Brady doesn't even have consensus as the best football player of his era (although he is right up there, certainly).
I'm not a Jordan fan, but he's the best ever in hoops.
Brady? Darn good, but from what I've seen and read, Montana and Unitas share the distinction of best ever. I'd say in the modern era, it's a toss up between Manning and Brady. Take your pick, they're both ridiculously good.
12. Bill
- 07/16/2011 7:30 pm CDT
Bill, you sound like one of those atheists on our God posts.
Ha!
(by the way, my Disturbo-Meter is pegging 100 now)
15. nhe
- 07/17/2011 1:29 pm CDT
If you combine number of Super Bowls with overall numbers (which I think is the best way to measure QB greatness) I think it is very fair to say that Brady is only behind Montana........the stats and the Lombardi trophies just bear that out.
I also agree with Jared that Brady is somewhat of a mythical figure, though I'd say he's more Derek Jeter mythical (both similar in the love interest category also) than Michael Jordan mythical.
Jordan is more raw talent and clutch in key moments mythical, where Brady and Jeter are both more overachieving athetically, great leaders, and larger than life personality mythical.
I think there is also playing in Boston, NY or Chicago that makes guys more mythical.
17. Bill
- 07/18/2011 6:49 am CDT
nhe.
I agree he's great, just not sure he's second. How do you weight superbowls? Terry Bradshaw has to enter the conversation - the Steelers were dominant in the 70s the way the Patriots could only wish to be, and he got four rings.
And he's tied in Superbowls with Troy Aikman, who won three despite having to contend with the 49ers all those years, who were a championship rivalry unlike any the Patriots have had to face.
I do think your comparison of him to Jeter is a very good one. I still haven't figured out what you Bradyoloters mean by "mythic" though :-) . You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.
18. nhe
- 07/18/2011 7:30 am CDT
Bill - Bradshaw and Aikman (in particular) had far inferior stats (TD passes, passing yards, etc) to Brady......if you combine 3 SBs with Brady's overall numbers, I think he's a clear second, but I hear this debate all the time, and everyone has a different opinion. BTW, Manning comes in 3rd for me, even though he only has one SB, his numbers are just THAT good.
Mythical (I think) means "larger than life" on and off the field/court. When you look at Brady and Jeter and their accomplishments on the field combined with their "success" with the women we believe to be unattainable, its mythical. Especially if you can say that despite their "getting around" that they're still regarded by most as "good guys".
20. Rob T.
- 07/18/2011 8:10 am CDT
There was only one Pegasus, which was a winged horse (or pterippus). So pegasuses should actually be pterippi.
Also, I think Aaron Rodgers has the ability to surpass Brady on the all-time list if his career continues the way it has gone thus far. But for now, I agree that The Hair is second only to Montana.
24. Andrew
- 07/18/2011 10:55 am CDT
Elway gets no love from anyone? He made 3 Super Bowls in the 80s, despite playing with only 2 other Pro Bowlers on offense (only one of whom was a skill position). Granted, his teams got demolished in all of them, but the fact that he even got there is impressive, given the teams he had.
The best corollary I can think of for Elway is Dirk Nowitzski. When Dirk finally won, it took him from "one of the best players of his generation," to "best power forward ever," and "just as good as Larry Bird" (both of those are hyperbolic, I think). When Elway won, it vaulted him from, "one of the best players of his generation," to "one of the best quarterbacks of all time."
Not saying he's better than Brady (I would say that, but I can't stand the Patriots), but I think he deserves to be in the conversation. Certainly ahead of Bradshaw.
25. Bill
- 07/18/2011 11:48 am CDT
Mythical (I think) means "larger than life" on and off the field/court. When you look at Brady and Jeter and their accomplishments on the field combined with their "success" with the women we believe to be unattainable, its mythical.
To some, I suppose. I spend about zero seconds a year thinking of the "mythical" status of either of these guys. They are both first-ballot hall of famers in their respective sports, but I don't think either is larger than life.
And philandering with and desertion of subsequently knocked-up women doesn't exactly burnish their mythical status with me either! There must be some awesomeness in that that's just passing me by :-)
26. Bill
- 07/18/2011 11:48 am CDT
Not saying he's better than Brady (I would say that, but I can't stand the Patriots)
Legit.
27. Andrew
- 07/18/2011 12:11 pm CDT
To some, I suppose. I spend about zero seconds a year thinking of the "mythical" status of either of these guys. They are both first-ballot hall of famers in their respective sports, but I don't think either is larger than life.
I think his "mythical" status was hurt when his team lost the one game that EVERYBODY expected them to win. No one has ever been as heavily favored in a Super Bowl than the '07 Patriots were. If they had won that game, it would have capped the greatest season of all time. Now, nobody thinks of them as anything else than the team that almost went 19-0. Since then, the Patriots haven't won a playoff game.
He could conceivably become the greatest quarterback in NFL history, but he needs to win in the post season again. Nobody thinks the Patriots are unbeatable anymore.
28. nhe
- 07/18/2011 1:02 pm CDT
Bill, I was just affirming the "Brazilian Super Model" example that Jared gave in his post......I agree, that doesn't register with me as "mythical" either, but I think Jared's point is that it does for a lot of guys......factor in that it was Heidi Klum prior to Jezel, and that gets pretty "mythical" or "legendary" for a lot of guys....similar to Jeter and his long list of A-listers and his current fiance - Minka Kelly, who People Magazine named the 2011 "hottest woman on the planet" or whatever they call it.
29. damien
- 07/19/2011 5:07 pm CDT
i hate brady like i hate the yankees...because they're always beating up my guys. very hard to be objective when the emotions are seething.
but jared, you are not too shabby a writer.
31. Tim
- 07/26/2011 5:05 pm CDT
I second G. Frederick. Here in Green Bay, the Patriots have been called the Cheaters since Brent (intentional) was still QB - ie, before most Packer fans even knew Aaron Rodgers' name. Brady's tainted SB win against the Rams should leave an even more bitter taste in St. Louis fans' mouths - and egg on Patriots fans' faces, as well as Mr. Brady's. A fine QB, to be sure, but not deserving of the praise he receives in my opinion.
Leave a Comment:
I find this profoundly disturbing . . .
All kidding aside (not that I'm kidding in my aforementioned comment. I think you should seek help. We are here for you, brother), yes Brady is really good. But, take it from one who was there. He is no Joe Montana, neither is he a Roger Staubach. I contend that he's not even a Peyton Manning.
And, his championship years (which were, admittedly, brilliant) are behind him.