Michele, have you considered the possibility that the leaders knew the circumstances and that they determined that the congregation didn't need to know? If it was private sin, then it was private.

As for remarrying quickly - how is that a sin that needs to be addressed to the congregation, except for gossip purposes?

MzEllen, a divorce isn't a "private sin", but a public, legal one. Remarriage, except for the cause of adultery is sited by Jesus as adultery, so it should be addressed.

No, I wouldn't consider him to be in sin, as he seems to have biblical grounds for divorce. But, I'd like to know, so I'd know how to treat him. (A brother in an ongoing pattern of sin should be treated differently than a repentant brother, right?)
I didn't trust my elders, and that's why we had to leave the church. Long story.

The adultery that the rebellious brother was indulging in in the Corinthian church wasn't a private issue and nor should divorce, (nor slander, greediness, etc.) be today.
I agree that we all sin everyday, but certainly the church is commanded to deal with repeated, patterned and purposeful sin publicly. I heard John Piper asked recently when it's time to correct sin from the pulpit and he answered, "When it's public, patterned and stumbling others". A divorce and a remarriage may just be that. Marriage takes place in front of witnesses as a public statement that this is a God-ordained covenant. A divorce breaks this and some sort of explanation should be made to the brothers and sisters who we claim to be accountable to.
What if you'd learned your pastor killed a man while holding his office? Wouldn't you at least question it or would you just tell yourself, "It would be gossip to inquire what happened." Yes, it might be in self-defense, perhaps he'd hit someone who stepped out in front of his car, or maybe he'd murdered someone in cold-blood. You should probably find out so you know what and how to think biblically.
BTW, years ago, my beloved husband was divorced before he married me. (His wife was in ongoing adultery) I'm not overly judgmental about this, but I do judge divorce, because we should, case by case. The bible tells us it's often sin due to the hardness of our heart, not always, but often.

I'm truly sorry for what you went through, Millie. Handled properly, though, addressing the congregation should've helped your children and not hurt them. The horrid details don't need to be discussed, but some explanation, especially if the divorcing parties are in a place of leadership should be given.

Michele,
If you have children take a good look at them. Would you really want them to know that daddy is having an affair with the lady from church? Would you want all of their friends, in a place of safety and love, know and might bring it up freely whenever they wanted. Think about how mean children can be. My daughter is a tender little and she has been devastated by the divorce. Do most of the adults know? Yes, they know that the affair happened.

The shepherds made big mistakes when they pulled the four of us in but they were right in what they said and right in having the three of them step out of the ministry work that they did. I was the only one who stayed in my work. I do background stuff. I did refrain from teaching when they needed a fill in.

How do you know that the elders aren’t talking to this person? They might be working on it. I will say this I don’t think that we should turn a blind eye on sin. The man who went to the shepherds spent a lot of time thinking about what to do. He talked with his wife before going to the shepherds. Nothing should be done without prayer and thought.

I just don't think that people should be called out in public. Sin should be but leave the people out.

For the answer to your question, please refer to my comment, (quoting John Piper) #8.
Did you put the word "sin" in quotations because you don't think divorce is a sin?
Do you think there is ever a time to address sin publicly? What do you think about Paul's command to expel the immoral brother and to not eat with anyone who practiced sexual sin, as well as greediness, slander, etc. in Corinthians? How would we know who these people were unless they'd been addressed in a public rebuke? Should the pastor call each household?
For the record, I have been corrected from the pulpit.

Milly,
I'd want my children to know that sin is dealt with by the Church here, and eventually, by God, even if it was their father suffering the consequences. We should not disobey scripture. This in no ways protects our kids from anything.
Perhaps the elders of my church were dealing with the people in private. But, they continued in their sin of adultery and abandonment.

But, they continued in their sin of adultery and abandonment.

key word: continued.

You are taking a situation in which the parties were not repentant and attempting to import their guilt to those you do not know are repentant or not.

By saying that all divorce should be addressed from the pulpit, you are lumping the repentant in with the unrepentant and those who sin in with those who did not.

by digging for the dirt, you violate God's command to not hold the sin of a repentant person against them.

Forgive as God forgives, as far as the east as from the west, remember it no more.

Or your sin will not be forgiven.

that's a weighty statement from Scripture. Are you willing to risk it, in order to get the dirt?

MzEllen,
It's becoming hard to communicate because of the comment delay.
I also sense that you're suggesting I want sin addressed publicly just so I can "get the dirt". Although I'm a sinner and love gossip, this is not the reason I believe we should correct from the pulpit. It's because it's biblical.
You're also becoming a tad shrill and sarcastic and it's annoying me.

Michele, of course I'll forgive you.

And I won't hold it against you, privately or publicly, ever. From the pulpit or not.

Gosh, I apologized twice, just to be sure. Not really, this darn delay, and I can't stand it when I know I've hurt someone. (I'm quite wonderful, you can tell.)

Scripture doesn't teach that every divorced person in a congregation should be corrected, nor have their sin brought up to them, IF it's been repented of. (This may be where we're misunderstanding each other.) But if a professing believer is causing and pursuing a divorce, this should be addressed.

Exactly. I, and the congregation would need to know. Do we comfort him as a brother or not eat with him as someone who is in continual rebellion? We treat the unsaved, the weak and the rebellious differently, according to the scriptures. (1 Cor. 5:9,10) And, it's all love.
Did you go to the scriptures I sited in Comment #18? You asked for them and I gave them. I'm assuming you really wanted to know why I think this is biblical.

MzEllen,
Are you reading my answers carefully? Everything you seem to take issue with has been expounded on in my comments, and I give scripture to clarify why I've come to my beliefs.
Once again:
Divorce is not always a serious, patterned sin, but usually is. (At least for at least one of the members of the marriage. Do you think adultery, addiction, laziness, etc. is sin? This is usually the cause of divorce. Have you ever known of a divorce where one of the parties wasn't in an ongoing sin?)
The church is commanded to correct ongoing sin, sometimes publicly. (Please refer to the scriptures I sited.)
The purpose of this is not so everyone gets juicy gossip, but so they'll know whether or not they should be in fellowship with this person and can learn and be warned. Correction, done properly, should strengthen the Church. (Again, 1 Tim. 5:20. This is referring to leaders, but the idea is still there.)
If a brother repents, this is not necessary. However, Paul still discussed openly with the Corinthians how to deal with a particular repentant brother, and I can see how this would be helpful as well.
Martin Luther said the 3 Marks of a healthy church are:
1. The Word is preached
2. The Sacraments are administered
3. Church discipline is practiced
If you're in a church that doesn't adhere to this, trust me, you're in danger.
MzEllen, I'd love to keep discussing this with you, but I don't want to keep repeating myself. Please read my comments carefully before you answer.

MzEllen,
Are you reading my answers carefully? Everything you seem to take issue with has been expounded on in my comments, and I give scripture to clarify why I've come to my beliefs.
Once again:
Divorce is not always a serious, patterned sin, but usually is. (At least for at least one of the members of the marriage. Do you think adultery, addiction, laziness, etc. is sin? This is usually the cause of divorce. Have you ever known of a divorce where one of the parties wasn't in an ongoing sin?)
The church is commanded to correct ongoing sin, sometimes publicly. (Please refer to the scriptures I sited.)
The purpose of this is not so everyone gets juicy gossip, but so they'll know whether or not they should be in fellowship with this person and can learn and be warned. Correction, done properly, should strengthen the Church. (Again, 1 Tim. 5:20. This is referring to leaders, but the idea is still there.)
If a brother repents, this is not necessary. However, Paul still discussed openly with the Corinthians how to deal with a particular repentant brother, and I can see how this would be helpful as well.
Martin Luther said the 3 Marks of a healthy church are:
1. The Word is preached
2. The Sacraments are administered
3. Church discipline is practiced
If you're in a church that doesn't adhere to this, trust me, you're in danger.
MzEllen, I'd love to keep discussing this with you, but I don't want to keep repeating myself. Please read my comments carefully before you answer.
Also, if you know these scriptures, why do you ask all this? Do you believe them?

The church is commanded to correct ongoing sin,

You are correct. And it if is not ongoing, what business is it of yours

If God has forgiven, why don't you

Michele,
I would suggest that you do as Jesus would. Ask him to lunch and talk to this man about what he is doing. Get the facts. Tell him how you feel about the sin. Speculation can be a dangerous thing.

As for my children they aren’t sheltered from this woman that my ex is with. They know that he chose her over me and our married life. I don’t believe that other children needed to know the facts so that they can talk to my 9 year old about her daddy having an affair. Kids, even in church can be mean. My daughter has been devastated by our divorce.
I think a minister talking about the kind of sin that is going on such as gossip is fine and should happen but to point to you and say Michele you are a sinner because you gossiped about ------- divorce is wrong. To take you to the side and speak to you away from people is the right way to handle it. Just as the shepherds did when they thought something was going on between the two of them and just as my minister did when he learn of my divorce.

Gals,
MzEllen, Matthew 18 says to go to the offending brother, if he wont' repent, return with a witness. If he still refuses, take it to the church. So, we agree. If he doesn't repent, he should be brought before the church. (Jesus' words, not mine.)
Millie, if I was involved in perpetual gossip and refused to repent, I'd want the pastor to point at me and correct me. It's a severe mercy. I'd rather my children see this, than think it's OK that mommy destroy the church.
And, sisters, please don't take this wrong, I'm trying to help our sharpening. When you disagree with me and attempt to change my thinking, please use scripture to do so. Your arguments have mostly been based on your experiences and how you feel, what your idea of love is, etc., and we should stay biblical. Experiences, feelings, ideas are great to bring in as long as they're viewed and judged in the light of the Word.

Michele...so go to the brother who sinned against you privately.

I don't have a problem with that.

you want it dealt with from the pulpit. That is my problem.

If the sin is not against you, it's not your business. If the sin has been repented of, it's not your business. if there was no sin, it's not your business.

If you try to make it your business..that's gossip. If you want to be treated the way that you would have others treated, your making somebody else's sin your business...should be dealt with from the pulpit.

Jesus said, "If a brother offends you, go to him..." It offends me when people commit adultery and leave their spouses. It offends me when people cheat on their taxes. It offends me when people lie. It offends me when people molest children, or bully others. It should. It destroys the church.

Michele,
Please know that I am not trying to hurt you.

The thing is that it is more than one person in this. If you were pointed at from the pulpit then your family was hurt. If you were pulled behind closed doors then your family was spared. What if the minister was wrong? What if he didn’t know the truth? The people in church can hurt others. Churches split easily.

If I think my brother is sinning and I feel the need to talk to him then I do. If I think that the shepherds need to speak with him then I go to a trusted one about the issues.

I think this is a dead horse at this point.

Blessings
Milly

What I "hear" you saying is that your sin is different from divorce.

You have sinned and dealt with it privately and you don't want it remembered against you.

A divorced person may (or MAY NOT HAVE) sinned and may have repented...but you (regardless of the sin (or not) or repentance (or not) always want it dealt with from the pulpit, so that *you* can know how to treat them.

What other "sin" (and no, I do not believe that divorce is the sin...divorce is the public decree that declares that the covenant has already been broken) would you like to have treated this way?

And what other "not a sin" that has been repented of would you like to have called out from the pulpit?

Here's an example of what you demand would bring.

2 women commit adultery against their husbands.

both of them repent.

One of them has a graceful husband who forgives her and remembers it against her no more...he forgives as the Father forgives.

The other has an ungraceful husband, who has a hard heart and refuses to forgive, choosing to hold the sin against her in a public way, choosing to divorce.

the 2 woman have the same repentant attitude. The repentant woman with the good husband, you would remember her sin no more...

the repentant woman with the ungodly husband, who chooses to remember her sin against her publicly?

That's the man you stand with, wanting to see this repentant woman who has turned her sin over to her Saviour called out from the pulpit.

MzEllen, you make me feel like I'm taking crazy pills.
I've said again and again, that if I was in unrepentant, chronic, patterened, destructive sin, I'd want it dealt with; First, warned about (Matt 18), if I refuse to listen, someone should bring another friend to warn me, then finally, if I still am hard-hearted, tell it to the church. This would be from the pulpit, or Paul's method, in a corporate letter, read publicly. The sin could be any mentioned in scripture that destroys the church, NOT just divorce, and the reasons leading to a divorce. It could be slander, greediness, lying, whatever.
If in the process leading to it being called out publicly, I repent, then NO, it should not be corrected publicly, the Church does not need to be warned, I won't need to be disciplined.
Gosh, I'm getting frustrated. Please, MzEllen, quit making up scenerios and alluding to the idea that I don't want my sin dealt with and that I go around judging people, hoping to hear juicy gossip when they're disciplined. Read the scriptures that I've given you again and again, and figure out when sin should be dealt with.
I've given you example after example of NT people being called out about their sin. Go back and read the scriptures, please.
Thinklings, are any of you reading this? Could you shepherd your blog please? What's going on with MzEllen that she won't understand my point?
I'm away from the computer for the day. Going to see an Abe Lincoln exhibit. Have a good one.

If someone shows up at church and has been divorced in their past, and have dealt with it, then obviously, no, they shouldn't be corrected. But, if they are professing believers and are in fellowship, and then begin to cause a divorce by sin, then yes, they should be corrected.
Our past sins that are repented of should not be brought up nor corrected publicly.
I'm wondering though, do you see any time when someone's sin should be disciplined, corrected, warned against in the Church setting?
Out the door now for real. Will check tonite what you think.

I'm wondering though, do you see any time when someone's sin should be disciplined, corrected, warned against in the Church setting?

Of course...when the sin is continual and the person has gone through the Matthew 18 process and does not repent (up until the last part, it's done privately.)

So what I'm hearing you say is that whether there is sin or not, a person who divorces in your fellowship (whether nor not they filed, whether or not they sinned, whether or not they have repented), you want to know why.

I guess if a couple is in our fellowship, both professing Christians are seeking a divorce, I would hope my elders would seek to know why and who, etc. Then in a good church, I could trust them (the leaders) to follow the Matthew 18 mandate, privately, and if the one filing, sinning, etc. repents, the divorce will stop. If they don't repent and plow through to break their covenant, this would turn into a sin that's patterned, purposeful and public, and I'll end up knowing anyway. (I mean, by the time you get to divorce, there's some serious sin going on . Someone is being rebellious and hard-hearted. You don't just fall into divorce, it's not a slip.) So, at this point, yes, the one causing the divorce should be corrected if he's calling himself a brother. This would be the biblical protocol Jesus and St. Paul enjoined. It's not what I want MzEllen, it's what is scriptural.
MzEllen, you still seem to suspect that I desire this so I can "know" more about other's sin. Trust me, in any church, sadly there's plenty of gossip going around. I don't hope excitedly that people will be publicly corrected so I can get more grit for my evil heart. Public, biblical correction, done wisely, actually inhibits gossip and instructs the Church, warns it, encourages it and strengthens it. John MacArthurs church does an excellent job of practicing church discipline. Many have returned to his over-sight after being corrected and are thankful they weren't ignored or coddled while in serious sin.
Milly, my heart goes out to you. I can't imagine how humiliating and painful that time was for you. I'm glad you had a good fellowship to support you during that time.