"Membership in the family of God is neither inconsequential or something to be casually ignored. The church is God's agenda for the world. Jesus said, "I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it." The church is indestructable and will exist for eternity. It will outlive this universe, and so will your role in it."
- Rick Warren
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
From the "Series of Unfortunate Events" Series, book #11 - "The Grim Grotto"
When you are invited to dine, particularly with people you do not know very well, it always helps to have a conversational opener, a phrase which here means "an interesting sentence to say out loud in order to get people talking."
Although lately it has become more and more difficult to attend dinner parties without the evening ending in gunfire or tapioca, I keep a list of good and bad conversational openers in my commonplace book in order to avoid awkward pauses at the dinner table.
"Who would like to see an assortment of photographs taken while I was on vacation?" for instance, is a very poor conversational opener, because it is likely to make your fellow diners shudder instead of talk, whereas good conversational openers are sentences such as "What would drive a man to commit arson?," " Why do so many stories of true love end in tragedy and despair?," and "Madame diLustro, I believe I've discovered your true identity!," all of which are likely to provoke discussions, arguments, and accusations, thus making the dinner party much more entertaining.
So there you go. What conversational openers would you put in your commonplace book that are sure to make for an interesting evening (if a bit controversial)? Please make suggestions under comments.
Here's a few of mine:
"I don't know about you, but I'm thinking about a nose job."
"Did anybody here have trouble finding matching socks today?"
"Can you tell me if my nose hair trimmer was working before I left the house in a hurry to come here?"
"You look just like someone who beat me up once."
"The last time I saw a necklace like that was the night before someone stole it from my grandmother."
"Why are soda cans measured in ounces while large bottles are measured in liters?"
"What celebrity do you most look like?"
"I think it would make for a great evening if we all ate our spaghetti with our elbows. Who's with me?"
"If I ran for president would you vote for me?"
You get the idea...Now let me hear yours...
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Comments on "Small Talk Advice from Lemony Snicket":
2. Bill
- 09/06/2011 8:07 pm CDT
I've actually used this one. It is a great way to get to know someone.
"Tell me your life story"
Most people are willing to at least give the highlights.
3. Shrode
- 09/06/2011 9:56 pm CDT
Oh man, Bill's being serious (and thoughtful) as usual. Now, I feel guilty for my nose hair suggestion.
If we're going serious, I like:
"Why did your parents name you _____?" Most people have heard their parents tell them.
"How did you meet your spouse?" is another winner.
As a variant on Bill's, "Tell me about you" works like a charm. Because they will almost always say, "What do you want to know?" and my response is: "Whatever you want to tell me." And then that's exactly what happens. Pretty cool.
And Bill, with all due respect, I think you totally missed the humor of this post. :-)
And Bobbi, with all due respect, I totally missed the meaning of your suggestions. I guess I'm not as smart as I thought I was. Aren't those kind of impossible questions like, "How would you describe purple to a blind person?" OR "Can you draw a round square?"
4. Weekend Fisher
- 09/06/2011 10:19 pm CDT
Can I draw a round square? Heck, my artistic skills are such that when I'm done you won't be able to tell if it's a circle or a square. So: Yes. Yes I can. And it's nothing to be proud of. :)
Take care & God bless
Anne / WF
6. Dave
- 09/07/2011 11:31 am CDT
"If you were incontinent, would you wear a diaper, and if not, how would you deal with the problem?"
"If you had to define the word 'is' how would you define it?"
"If you were the worlds greatest inventor, what would you invent, and why, and would you patent it or leave it open for the whole world to use, and if so, how would you feel about people using your idea to make money without giving you any royalties?"
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