"We are faced, then, with a frightening alternative. This man we are talking about either was (and is) just what He said or else a lunatic, or something worse. Now it seems to me obvious that He was neither a lunatic nor a fiend; and consequently, however strange or terrifying or unlikely it may seem, I have to accept the view that He was and is God. God has landed on this enemy-occupied world in human form."
- C.S. Lewis
Friday, February 13, 2009
How would the cavalcade of "Lost" characters handle the economy?
Sawyer - Seduce it. Then cause a depression by taking all the money.
Sayid - Torture it.
Hurley - Eat it.
Locke - Track it for days and then hold a press conference about it under the delusion he has it under control, only to become one of its victims.
Rose - Henpeck it.
Rousseau - Shoot it.
Michael - Blow it up.
Ben - Lure it into a trap. Then give it a sanctimonious lecture.
Jin - Serve it poisonous blowfish.
Richard Alpert - Outlive it.
Jack - Fool it into thinking it has the upper hand with months of apparently pointless yammering, self-pity, and bursts of violence only to finally conquer it with surprising and apocalyptic levels of awesomeness.
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Comments on "The Economic Crisis Gets "Lost"":
4. Chestertonian Rambler
- 02/13/2009 5:23 pm CST
Not having watched "Lost," I find the reactions of Locke, Sayid, Rosseau and Faraday to the economic situation hilarious.
It's like fanfic for cultural theorists!
5. Quaid
- 02/13/2009 6:50 pm CST
Kate-
Cry about it, believing she was the only victim.
Sun-
Commit adultery with it.
Juliet-
Stare at it as if the economy was being absurd and immature.
6. Jared
- 02/13/2009 7:00 pm CST
Good ones, Quaid!
Any characters I left out, it was basically b/c I couldnt' think of anything I thought creative for them.
7. stroke
- 02/13/2009 7:16 pm CST
Frogurt - complain about NOT being affected by it and then get killed by it.
8. Molly
- 02/13/2009 8:07 pm CST
Kate would actually probably run away from it. And Claire would probably just scream at it. Charlie would sing it a song or give it drugs.
9. Quaid
- 02/13/2009 11:03 pm CST
I like Frogurt's and Charlie's.
Ethan - Run full speed toward the Fed, learn all of the intimate details about the economy to the point where he knows it better than anyone, attempt to drug Ben Bernanke in an effort to "help" him, only to be killed by Tim Geithner.
10. Crossbow
- 02/14/2009 1:11 am CST
Mr. Ecko - stare it down until it runs away whimpering. Then go build a church.
Smoke Monster - circle around it making random, odd, creepy noises, until it decides to pounce out, snap it up in the air... and pound it to death on the ground.
Vincent - woof!
11. Bill
- 02/14/2009 8:10 am CST
Mikhail - get killed by it . . . again, and again, and again . . .
12. Bill
- 02/14/2009 8:11 am CST
Michael - run around like a loon looking for it, shouting ECONNNNOMMMMMEEEEEEEEE! ECONNNOMMMMEEEEEEE! at the top of his lungs.
14. Michele
- 02/14/2009 1:54 pm CST
Michael would scream again and again: I want MY MONEY!!! Give me back my MONEY!!!
15. Michele
- 02/14/2009 2:56 pm CST
How embariskin, I didn't see realize Bill had a Michael-moment as well.
How about a new one to make up for it?
Charlotte would say, "Man, we're paying through the nose on these taxes. They're bleedin' us dry!"
16. Crossbow
- 02/14/2009 4:15 pm CST
I was gonna put one about Shannon, but then I remembered that Sayid was her problem-fixer, so technically she is already covered....
But I guess you could say that Boone would stand by jealously scowling at Sayid while he fixes it...
17. Bill
- 02/14/2009 8:05 pm CST
Charlotte would say, "Man, we're paying through the nose on these taxes. They're bleedin' us dry!"
LOL!
18. Quaid
- 02/15/2009 12:09 am CST
Desmond - "Yeh can keep tryin teh save it - but it's gonna die."
Penny - You're not going to go back there and try and stop this, are you Des?
20. Bill
- 02/16/2009 8:10 pm CST
"Hurley - The numbers are bad. The numbers are bad."
LOL!!!
"How embariskin, I didn't see realize Bill had a Michael-moment as well."
Michele - that's ok, yours was funnier than mine :-)
Leave a Comment:
Hilarious!
Here's my humble offering:
Faraday - forget about it.